


One Last Deep Breath

by storyhadmelike



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Charlie Bradbury - Freeform, Dean - Freeform, Demon!Dean, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Mark of Cain, Sam - Freeform, Season Ten, Winchesters - Freeform, cas, crowley - Freeform, graceless!cas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-03-22 19:44:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3741301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storyhadmelike/pseuds/storyhadmelike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a version of the story if Dean did actually live Cain's life in reverse. <br/>(Big on Destiel)<br/>(Please review)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Hunt

** Chapter One **

Sam blinked. He took a deep breath. He let it out slowly. This would be the last absolute relaxed moment Sam will ever experience until he dies. He doesn’t mind it though, mostly because he doesn’t know this fact. If he did maybe he would have savored it longer. From this point on every time he falls asleep it will be from pure tiredness, every time he showers it’s because he hasn’t taken one in a few days, and every time he reads it will be for a hunt.

            Sam looked over at Dean who had his feet propped up on the library table of the bunker fake reading a book; he was actually playing with the scar on his forearm. Dean traced it with his fingers, a disgusted look sat on his face. Sam cleared his throat not wanting Dean to remain focused on that nasty scar.

“Did you find something Sammy?” Dean asked looking up.

Sam panicked a little not knowing what to say. He glanced at his blank Google page then back at Dean. “Um, no maybe it’s time we called Cas,” Sam suggested thinking quick on his feet.

            “Yeah okay, I mean it couldn’t hurt to ask,” Dean smiled liking the idea of talking to Cas.

            “Then I’ll do that,” Sam said taking out his cheap phone.

            “Hey look let me call him, I haven’t talked to the guy in a while,” Dean tried to say casually but it came out as more of a plea.

            Sam smirked at Dean’s eagerness and tossed him the phone. “I guess…”

 A small victory smile grew on Dean’s face as he dialed Cas’ number. “Hey, have you or any of your angel friends found anything yet?” Dean asked.  

Sam couldn’t really hear what Cas was saying on the other side. But he could hear the deepness of the angel’s voice.

“Yeah, I kinda figured, just though I should ask,” Dean sighed. “But uh hey, how are you?”

“…”

“That’s good… Me? I’m fine, yeah,” Dean smirked they way he always did when Cas was on the other end of his phone call.

“…”

“You should stop by the bunker if you get a chance,” Dean mentioned hopeful.

“…”

“Oh, you’re that far away?”

“…”

“Yeah… no Cas it’s fine just call if you find anything okay? Okay…”

“…”

“Yup see ya,” Dean said hesitantly hanging up the phone. “So Cas didn’t find anything…”

“Yeah I gathered, but hey we’re getting close I feel it,” Sam tried to encourage their hope. “Where has Cas found himself now?”

“Somewhere in California, far away from here,” Dean sighed.

Sam just nodded and looked back down at his laptop. A police report popped up on his screen. He smiled wide at the program his friend Charlie had installed making his life so much easier. He scanned it and looked up at Dean who was back to fake reading his book.

“Hey,” Sam caught Dean’s attention, “Wanna take a break?”

“Yeah sure I’ll make sandwiches and grab some beers,” Dean nodded slamming his book closed and standing up.

“Not that kind of break Dean,” Sam said scared of Dean’s answer. “A police report popped up three men in the past four weeks have all been killed with their hearts removed, it’s our kind of thing right?”

Dean sat back down opening his book and started reading, ignoring Sam.

“Look Dean…”

“No Sammy we aren’t going down this road, some werewolf is not our top priority, getting rid of this God Damn mark is!” Dean explained anger rising in his voice. Dean had been dealing with this mark on his arm for a while now. Ever since Cain gave it to him to defeat Abaddon, his life has been a downward spiral. Becoming a demon again is the last thing he wants.

“Please Dean, we haven’t been on a real hunt in months, this could be good for you,” Sam tried to reason.

“The only thing that is good for me is making sure I don’t turn into a filthy demon again. We don’t have time for this Sammy!” Dean nearly yelled. “It’s like you don’t even care about this anymore!”

“It’s because I care that I want you to do this, hunting will calm you down and refresh your system,” Sam hesitated to say after a while.

Dean thought for a minute face scrunched up. “Fine,” he said after a long moment of silence. “If killing a werewolf will get you back on track then let’s kill a werewolf.”

Sam raised his eyebrow surprised at Dean but nodding quickly to his cave in. “This will be good for you, you’ll see,” Sam said smiling.


	2. It's a Werewolf Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean hunt a werewolf

** Chapter Two **

            The fact that Dean had actually agreed to going on this hunt made Sam feel a sense of accomplishment. However Sam knew this was a simple, open shut book, case. Sam knew it was most likely a werewolf, because of the description on the police report, just as Dean suspected but pretending there was more to this case would be for the best. Sam tightened his grip on the steering wheel as they drove past a sign welcoming them to Osage, Wyoming. The nearly nine hour ride from the bunker had Sam stressed. There was nothing to do now but try and drag this hunt on for as long as possible. The longer this takes, the longer Dean has his mind off of the mark.

            Sam looked over at his brother who had his face smushed against the window of the Impala, in a deep sleep. Sam hesitantly woke him up as they pulled into a motel parking lot. It was early morning time so Dean squinted trying to let his eyes adjust as he sat up. He yawned and looked out the window.

            “I don’t really think this will take that long Sam,” Dean explained. “I mean we can do this in a day, I mean the police report said that these guys were being found at the same park somewhere in town so all we have to do is stake out the park and gank the werewolf when we see it. There is no need for a motel room.”

            “Dean how are we even sure it’s a werewolf…” Sam shrugged, “I mean hey it could be a skinwalker.”

            “Then same deal, scan the park and widen our search to dog or human that is killing humans and put a silver bullet in the damn thing,” Dean sighed. “We’ll be back home in no time.”

            “We can’t be sure Dean, how about we rent a room, put on our suits and question people around town, and take a look at the bodies in the morgue,” Sam suggested.

            “Look Sam if it’s not a werewolf or skinwalker I’ll buy you a chicken dinner but I’m pretty sure of this,” Dean stated.

            Sam remained quiet with both hands on the steering wheel trying to think of anything that will make Dean want to stay. His mind went blank though, and Dean could see that. Dean knew what Sam was up to, and seeing how hard he was trying to get Dean to investigate even a little had Dean pinned against a wall. Dean knew Sam wouldn’t back down and so if he just agreed with Sam things would go a lot faster.

            “Okay, maybe we can take a look at the morgue,” Dean said giving in. “See if the hole ripped in their chests are actually wolf bites.”

            Sam’s head lifted and turned to look at Dean. Dean raised his eyebrows. Sam’s face grew soft and he nodded. “Okay I’ll pay for the room so we can get changed.” Sam got out of the car and walked into the front lobby of the motel. Dean pressed his lips together and slowly made his way out of the car. He rubbed his face, stretching as he stood up. He couldn’t believe how tired he was, Sam drove for most of that car ride and he had a good seven hours in before they even left. Dean always felt like this though… tired. He walked around to the trunk of the Impala and grabbed his and Sam’s bag.

            As he shut the trunk Sam was coming out of the check-in lobby, which looked more like a small closet. Dean walked over to Sam and handed him his duffle bag. Sam took it mindlessly looking for their room number on the old motel doors lined up. Dean followed Sam routinely to their room. When they got in Dean plopped himself and his bag on one of the two beds. Dean didn’t like the feel of these motel beds, he never did, but now knowing he has one at the bunker with his name on it made him hate motel beds even more.

            “You feeling okay?” Sam asked Dean after a while.

            “Yeah Sammy, I’m fine. Just still waking up I guess,” Dean knew that wasn’t it but the sooner he got Sam thinking he was feeling better, the sooner they could get back to work on the Mark of Cain.

            “Look I know what you’re thinking but trust me, this is good for you,” Sam said to Dean shuffling through his bag.

            “Look if I’m being honest I’m just nervous about what Cain said to me,” Dean sighed after a minute.

            “What? The thing about how the mark can’t be removed? Rowena said it’s just a curse and any curse can be lifted, we just have to find the right words,” Sam explained.

            “No not that, but Rowena is a bitch and I’m glad Crowley threw her out,” Dean mentioned, “Even the King of Hell deserves better than her.”

            Sam chuckled a bit.

            “What’s so funny?” Dean asked a bit offended by Sam’s laugh.

            “Nothing just… Remember when Crowley was our enemy?” Sam faced Dean. “But look at him now helping us with the curse, and you had a beer with him. You didn’t even try to kill him… What happened?”

            “Look the second that he ain’t useful anymore that son of a bitch it gettin’ ganked,” Dean defended himself.

            “And how long have we been saying that Dean? It’s getting to the point where, ‘next time we see you we’re gonna kill you,’ means, ‘how about brunch on Sunday?” Sam joked.

            “Yeah well according to Cain, Crowley’s time is coming,” Dean sighed ready to tell Sam why he was in such a rush to get rid of the mark.

            “What do you mean?”

            “Well, Cain said something about how I’m living his life in reverse. He said that I’m gonna kill Crowley,” Dean scoffed at his own words.

            “Living his life in reverse? Dean, he probably just said that to get in your head,” Sam assured him. “I mean you were about to kill him.”

            “You’re probably right, he said I would then kill you and Cas, and we both know I can’t do that…” Dean tried not to think of himself in demon form chasing Sam around the bunker with that hammer.

            Sam tried not to think about the hammer either. “And killing Crowley… that’s just one of those things you say you’re gonna do but never get around to actually doing it, ya know? Don’t think on it too much.” Sam wished that’s all he had to say to Dean to make him take his mind off of it for a while. “Hey why don’t we skip the hunting for right now and you go to the bar and pick up a chick and bring her back here while I go to the town library for a while.”

            “No that’s okay Sammy,” Dean smirked. “Even if my time is coming close or not, I need to be real with myself and focus on what really matters.”

            “What really matters?” Sam asked surprised.

            “Oh you know, you, Charlie, and Cas,” Dean said. “My family is what matters, not picking up some easy chick at a bar. Sure it’s fun and feels good for a little while but if I only have a little while left I want to spend it doing things that I should have a long time ago.”

            “Okay well we should have solved this case a long time ago,” Sam remarked impressed with himself.

            “Fine then once you’re changed I’ll meet you in the car,” Dean chuckled pulling on a dress shirt.

            At the morgue Dean went to see the corpses while Sam got info on them.

            “Well, here he is agent. This is one of the most gruesome animal attacks I’ve ever seen. Poor SOB,” the short pudgy coroner explained. Dean nodded at the man and turned to the mangled corpse.

            “When you have a job like ours, this guy got a paper cut compared to other people we’ve seen,” Dean said winking at the man.

            “If they’re really that much worse than this I don’t think I could handle that,” the man pulled up his very lose pants and scratched his scruffy cheek.

            “Maybe coroner isn’t such a good job choice then,” Dean shrugged looking up from the corpse.

            “Well in a small town like this, you’d think we wouldn’t get anything too bad,” the man said looking up at Dean from the body.

            “Surprisingly, small towns are where it happens the most,” Dean laughed pulling on a pair of latex gloves.

            “Agent Stump,” Sam called to Dean as he walked through the door.

            “Ah yes agent Way,” Dean waved at his brother with a bloody gloved hand. “Could you give me and my partner some time to look examine the body?”

            “Of course,” the man said nodding at Dean and leaving him and Sam alone.

            “See this?” Dean asked. “This is clearly a werewolf attack, his chest his shredded to pieces with claw scrapes and wolf teeth.”

            “Okay so maybe it is a werewolf,” Sam agreed. “But why was it these three men in particular? Maybe we should ask the Vic’s wife some questions?”

            “Sammy we don’t need to know why it’s happening, just that it is happening. We already know where the attacks are happening because of the map and if we just watch the place we’ll catch the guy,” Dean explained.

            “Come on, I have the Vic’s address and wife’s name,” Sam pleaded.

            “Okay fine, but just this one,” Dean sighed knowing that they had plenty of time until sun down which is when they would stake out.

            When they arrived at the house Sam knocked on the door.

            “Hi, Mrs. Gorden,” Sam greeted a younger woman at the door.

            “Hello?” The lady asked keeping the door mostly shut.

            “I’m agent Way and this is my partner agent Stump and we’d like to ask you a few questions about your husband,” Sam said trying to give a soothing smile.

            The lady glanced up at the two men and swallowed and nodded nervously, “Come in.”

            Inside was dark and the curtains were closed. The old television in the living room was on and muted. The lady walked over to the couch and started to clear it off. She gestured for them to sit and she sat in the chair in front of the coffee table.

            “So, Mrs. Gorden,” Dean began.

            “Please call me Ruth,” she said. “Can I get you guys anything to drink?”

            “Um… no thanks,” Dean declined and smiled politely. “What can you tell us about your husband?”

            “Well he was a very good man, he went to the gym every day, worked hard at work, and was very loving towards his friends and family,” Ruth explained forcing a smile on her lips.

            “Do you know of anyone who would try to hurt him in any way, maybe an enemy of some kind?” Sam asked.

            “Not that I know of,” Ruth answered concern on her face. “I thought an animal attacked Trevor? Are you saying it wasn’t an animal?”

            “No, just standard questions sorry,” Sam apologized. “Just want to make sure we have all of the facts.”

            “The fact is that my husband is dead, and he shouldn’t be…” Ruth began to tear up. “He was a great man agents.”

            “I’m sure he was,” Dean smiled handing her a tissue. “Well I think we have everything we need, we’ll show ourselves out.”

            Outside Sam grabbed Dean. “We didn’t even get enough information.”

            “Look Sam I don’t want to make some girl cry by asking her questions about her dead husband if it’s not necessary,” Dean explained. “Come on let’s just go get some food and sit in baby for a while outside that park and see if we can gank that werewolf.”

            Sam didn’t bother arguing because it’s not like they were gonna walk back up to the poor girls house and make her more upset.

Next thing he knew, Dean was parking the Impala under a tree near the park. Dean greedily grabbed out his grease soaked sandwich and began to chow down.

            “I’ll be back I’m going to run to the closest store and use the bathroom,” Sam said getting out if the car.

            “Okay I’ll be here,” Dean waved after him. Dean took a deep breath and pulled out the heavy duty sleeping pills he had brought with him. He sighed but knew he had to do this. Once Sam was out of sight Dean mixed the pills into Sam’s drink. “Sorry buddy,” Dean mumbled to himself as he mixed the drink with a straw. Dean contemplated dumping the drink out for a second, or switching them or something. He knew Sam wouldn’t be too happy about this but he had to do it.

The Impala’s door creaked open and Sam got in. “I feel a lot better now,” Sam smiled taking a sip of the tainted drink.  


	3. Cain's words in my Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean makes mac and chili remembering his resent encounter with Cain.

** Chapter Three **

            Sam’s eyes opened as Dean smacked his leg. Sam felt stiff. He straightened himself up and cracked his knuckles and neck. After yawing he turned and looked at Dean tiredly. “How long was I out?” Sam asked.

            “About a day,” Dean shrugged getting out of the car.

            Sam followed and cracked his back out once he was out of the car. Sam looked around immediately confused by his surroundings. “Dean why the hell are we back at the bunker?”

            “I had the werewolf taken care of so I drove us home,” Dean explained grabbing his bag out of the trunk.

            “What do you mean you had the werewolf taken care of? Why did you let me sleep for so long?” Sam started panicking.

            “Look I got a buddy of mine to gank the wolf and I drove back here because we have work to do,” Dean said.

            “What about the motel room? My stuff?” Sam asked.

            “It’s fine I got everything for you,” Dean held up Sam’s bag before throwing it at him.

            Sam sighed in frustration. He pushed his hair back with his large hands.

“Look Cas will be here soon and in the mean time I’ll make us a kick ass dinner huh?”

            Sam pressed his lips together and let out a long sigh. “Fine,” he said following Dean into the bunker. Sam needed to think. This whole lets go on a hunt together turned out awful. Dean wasn’t relaxed enough. “I’m gonna get out of this suit,” Sam mentioned noticing Dean wasn’t wearing his anymore. He must have changed before he left.

            “Yeah okay…” Dean nodded at Sam as he left the room. Dean set his duffle bag on a table in the library and pulled out his phone while he walked to the kitchen. He opened his contacts list on his phone and found Cas’ name. He pushed dial and brought the speaker to his ear. The phone rang a few times and Dean was relieved when a voice came through the other end.

            “Hello Dean?” Cas’ deep voice felt good to listen to.

            “Um… Hiya Cas!” Dean smiled opening the door to the kitchen. “I just wanted an eta on your arrival time. I’m gonna make Sam and me some dinner if you wanted to join us… I mean I know you don’t really eat but I thought I’d offer.”

            “That sounds great Dean, but I’m about an hour and a half away…” Cas sounded upset. “I don’t want to keep you two waiting on me.”

            “No its fine Cas really I can wait for you to show up,” Dean reassured him.

            “But I won’t even eat, you guys go ahead and get started without me,” Cas suggested.

            “Are you sure Cas?” Dean asked.

            “Yeah it’s fine, I’ll be there soon,” Cas said.

            “Okay see ya,” Dean sighed.

            “Bye Dean,” Cas answered then hung up the phone.

            Dean put his phone in his pocket after a minute and then went over to the cabinet next to the stove. He pulled out a pot and put water in it. After he placed it on the stove to wait for it to boil he went over and opened the fridge grabbing a beer. He saw a left over bowl of chili sitting in the second shelf and so he grabbed that too. He pulled a box of Mac and Cheese off of the top of the fridge and walked back over to the stove. He rolled his eyes when he saw that the water was not boiling yet. He popped off the lid to his beer and took a swig. He opened the boxes of Mac and Cheese and pulled out the squeezable packets of cheese. He tapped his foot staring at the water in the pot.

            “ _I’m saving you,” Cain says hand gripped tight around Dean’s throat._

_“Saving me from what?” Dean chokes out._

_“From your fate,” Cain replies throwing Dean to the floor._

            Dean shook his head trying not to remember the awful day. Cain had told him the last words he wanted to ever hear and standing here in silence waiting for the water to boil is making him think.

            _“Has it ever occurred to you?” Cain dug his heel into Dean’s side flipping him over. “Have you never mused upon the fact that you living my life in reverse?”_

            Dean blinked scratching at the irritated mark on his forearm. This wasn’t Dean’s life. How could it be? Dean knew that his life was all over the place, but how in the hell did he end up here? The hot anger and rage that builds up in his arm wasn’t him. He knew he shouldn’t like it, but yet he did. And he hated himself for loving the feel. This was worse than an actual drug. The words that poured out from Cain’s mouth didn’t make him feel any better.

            _“My story began when I killed my brother, and that’s when your story inevitably will end,” Cain hissed through his teeth._

_“No, never,” Dean managed to get out right before a hard kick from Cain bruised his side._

            Dean scrunched his nose thinking about it. That kick was to let him know how stupid he was being.  

_“It’s called the mark of Cain for a reason!” Cain yelled._

            Dean knew that. He just wished he had picked up on it before he volunteered to get it tattooed on his arm. Dean would not let himself go though… The amount of crap he put up with just to keep Sam alive, why the hell would he kill Sam? He knew he didn’t have it in him. Anyone can see it.

            “Oi,” a husky British voice pulled Dean from his train of thought.

            Dean spun around to see Crowley, King of Hell, at the door way to the kitchen. “How did you get in here?”

            “Please… I’m Crowley,” Crowley smirked taking a step further.

            “Ya know that never actually answers anyone’s question,” Dean said.

            “I just want to let you know that I threw mother out,” Crowley shrugged offering Dean a grateful glance. “What you said really made sense and I’m glad you pointed it out before I did something to drastic.”

            “Yeah well, no offence but your mom is a bitch Crowley,” Dean mentioned.

            “I have my demons out looking for a spell to help cure that mark of yours. Shame we just can’t laser it off,” Crowley sighed.

            “Anything else?” Dean asked after a minute of quietness.

            “Just unblock my number and wait for my call you half wit,” Crowley explained and then he was gone.

            Dean sighed but did so and then turned back to his pot of water. Finally it was boiling. Dean poured in the noodles, and stirred them up a bit. The fact that Crowley just appeared and that Dean didn’t immediately try to kill him made Dean feel dirty. He was even friends with scum like Crowley.

            _“First… first you’d kill Crowley… There’d be some strange mixed feelings on that one, but you’d have your reasons. You’d get it done, no remorse,” Cain explained._

            This one made Dean feel relief because Dean has tried so hard over the years to kill Crowley that actually doing it is a fairy tale. Dean took comfort in knowing this was something he failed at over the years. Even the angels can’t touch Crowley. Even Cas had grown to need Crowley over the years. He’s been more help then menus lately.

            Dean immediately thought of calling Cas again. He shook his head. He had just got off the phone with Cas and plus he’d be here soon. There was no point in it.

            _“And then you’d kill the angel Castiel, now that one… That I suspect would hurt something awful,” Cain said almost smugly._

            Dean wasn’t blind he knew who Cas was in his story. He was his Collette. Although not until just recently had Dean actually thought about doing something about it. Dean doesn’t want to die without Cas knowing. He doesn’t want to die with something this important going unnoticed. Sure Dean knew it would happen someday, but he never thought any day soon. And Cain said Dean was going to kill Cas. Castiel, his angel. The thought made him sick.

            Dean glanced at the noodles, and brought them over to the sink where he tried his hardest to drain the water out of the pot without a strainer. Finally Dean added the cheese packet, milk, butter, and the bowl of chili. Dean made this for Sam all the time when they were younger.

            _“And then,” Cain_ _yelled falling to his knees, the first blade at Dean’s throat._ _“The one you’ll never survive, the one that will finally turn you into as much as a savage as it did me.”_

_“No,” Dean huffed out._

_“Your brother Sam, the only thing standing between you and that destiny is this blade. Your welcome my son,” Cain whispered drawing his arm back with the blade to stab Dean. Dean grabbed Cain’s arm and cut it off though in defense. Cain’s growl was furious._

            “Dean?” Sam called walking into the kitchen. “Food ready?”

            “Yeah,” Dean nodded splitting the Mac and chili into two bowls. He handed one to Sam and watched him take a bite. “Good?”

            “Yup just like you always make it,” Sam smiled turning to head out to the library. “Oh and Dean the next time you decided to knock me out using drugs, I will kill you.”

            Dean just nodded after him as Sam left the room. “If only you could little brother. Then all of our problems would be solved.” 


	4. Eye Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean talk and share some information. Dean tries to say what he feels.

** Chapter Four **

            “So Crowley stopped by to thank you?” Sam asked taking the empty bowls into the kitchen. “I would say that doesn’t sound like him, but lately it’s any chance he has to talk to us he’ll take it. How did he get in here?”

            “I asked him the same question and all I got was, ‘I’m Crowley king of hell’,” Dean said imitating Crowley very poorly.  

            “We have to re demon proof this place,” Sam sighed walking into the kitchen.

            Dean propped his feet up on the library table and picked up the book he had left sitting there since before the hunt. Dean wasn’t really a big fan of reading, he’d rather be out in hand to hand combat knocking some monster off his feet, but now it’s like he’d do anything to get rid of this thing, so read he must. However before he even got a chance to find his page and loud knock on the bunker door boomed through the place and the sound of it creaking open had Dean to his feet nearly running to the stair well. As Castiel made his way down the stair case Dean felt his heart nearly leap out of his chest. He tried not to seem too excited.

            Cas smiled at him and opened his arms slightly for a hug. Dean smirked in relief that Cas wanted a hug and walked over to him embracing him in his arms. “Hey there Cas,” Dean greeted him.

            “Hello Dean,” Cas smiled crookedly hugging him close.

            Dean wasn’t sure how long he should hug Cas. Of course Cas wasn’t sure exactly how long to hug Dean for, so maybe Dean could get away with a longer one than usual. Dean took a deep breath liking the smell on Cas. He smelled like stale leather, dirt, and a faint hint of what can only be described as angel smell. Dean thought that he didn’t want to make Cas uncomfortable, so he started to loosen his grip around him only to feel Cas pull him back in a little bit. Dean fell back into position arms around Cas tightly. After a minute of just holding each other even Cas realized the hug was getting to long so he pulled back. Dean followed but left his hand on Cas’ shoulder.

            “That missing grace still givin’ ya hell?” Dean asked staring into the way to blue eyes in front of him.

            “Well actually Hannah managed to get information about my grace out of Metatron. He had it hidden by another angel who is dead now. So now they are searching through the clues left behind to find it,” Cas explained.

            “Why is Hannah helping you? Didn’t you ditcher her a while ago?” Dean tried not to sound too curious.

            “Well they believe that once I get my grace back there would be no more reason to kill angels in my name. When Crowley stole that rebel angels grace to give to me, the other angels didn’t like it so knowing Crowley wants to keep me alive the key is to find my grace so no more of us will die,” Cas answered. “Hannah is running things in heaven now so she said she would help.”

            “Oh, good for her,” Dean pressed his lips together not really wanting to hear anymore about Hannah, Castiel’s angel friend.

            “But you look better,” Cas edged the conversation on not wanting Dean to let go of his shoulder and leave him.

            “Well thanks,” Dean chuckled at Cas’ compliment. “Sam and I just got back from a quick hunt.”

            “You were hunting?” Cas sounded surprised.

            “It was a quick gank the SOB and get out fast type thing,” Dean raised an eye brow. Cas just nodded and an awkward silence fell between them. Dean thought he could do this now. He had already confessed that this is what he wanted to himself; it was just him and Cas right here. How hard could it be to just tell him? Open his lips and let the words come naturally? “So Cas?”

            Cas scrunched his eyebrows up quizzically and gave Dean a slight nod telling him to continue. But no words would come out of Dean’s mouth. “Are you okay Dean?” Cas asked after a minute of Dean not replying.

            “Uh… yeah, yeah I’m fine,” Dean mumbled. Why couldn’t he do this? _Just tell Cas how you feel! Tell him right now!_ Dean yelled at himself in his head. This obviously wasn’t going to work with words; maybe Dean could just make a move. He glanced down at Cas’ plump perfect lips and back to Castiel’s eyes. He took a small step closer to Cas watching him glance at Dean’s lips. Dean slowly started to inch his fingers up Cas’ shoulder so he was touching the warm bare skin on his neck. Cas’ eyes fluttered close for a second and Dean’s breath caught. Dean took a hard gulp and risked moving his whole palm on Cas’ neck caressing the bottom of his jaw line. Dean could feel the stubble growing in on Cas’ face. Dean started making his glances to Cas’ lips more quickly now. Taking one more step so their bodies were just nearly touching, so he could feel the heat coming from Cas’ body. Dean could do this.

            “Oh hey,” Sam called from the entrance to the library, following it with a loud throat clearing sound. So maybe Dean couldn’t do this.

            Dean stepped back away from Cas, quickly dropping his hand from his face. “Look Cas is here,” Dean said gesturing to Cas.

            Cas turned to look at Sam, “Hello Sam.”

            “Hey Castiel,” Sam smiled opening his arms for a hug. Cas held open his arms awkwardly waiting for Sam’s embrace.  They had a two maybe three second hug max. “How ya been?” Sam asked looking Cas up and down.

            “Um, fine Hannah got information out of Metatron about where my grace maybe be,” Cas answered.

            “Huh, how are you sure that the information is true?” Sam questioned.

            “Well Hannah has her ways and well they took out his grace so it’s easier to get information out of him,” Cas said.

            “Wait Metatron is human?” Dean asked.

            “Yes,” Cas smiled. “I know he’s not dead but it’s the next best thing.” Cas pulled out a small glowing blue vile from a inside pocket of his dirty old trench coat.

            “Is that it right there?” Sam marveled at it.

            “Yes, but they don’t know I have this. I just don’t want anyway of Metatron ever getting a hold of it,” Cas confessed.

            “What are you going to do with it?” Dean asked.

            “If I get weak I’ll use it to heal myself and hopefully that will be enough time to get my grace back,” Cas sounded hopeful.

            “Well I have even more great news,” Sam smiled. “I was on the phone in the kitchen with Charlie and she said she dug up a book called the ‘Book of the Damned’. She thinks it may have a spell in there to lift the curse. She’s on her way; she’ll be here around noon tomorrow.”

            Relief struck Dean’s heart. The book of the damned sounded better than anything that had been turning up lately. They’ve also never had a lead on a spell to get rid of the mark, this was good. “So I guess we wait for tomorrow,” Dean smiled.

            “Well I know that I’m completely exhausted from being drugged,” Sam sighed. “I’m gonna head on off to bed.”

            “Sorry about that,” Dean looked ashamed a bit. Sam just nodded and turned to walk away. “Night Sammy.”

            “Good night Dean, and you too Cas,” Sam called to them. “Love you guys.”

            “Love you too kiddo,” Dean replied.

            “Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” Cas smiled nodding at Sam.

            Sam laughed a little rubbing his eye and left the room. Dean glanced over at Cas. This was his chance. “So Cas?”

            “Yes Dean?”Cas replied taking a step closer to Dean. They were almost as close as they were before. Cas tilted his head slightly nonchalantly trying to expose his neck hoping for Dean’s fingers to return.

            Feeling his heart quicken Dean leaned closer to Cas and said the only words his mouth would allow him to say. “You gonna wear those to bed?” Dean didn’t expect that to come out.

            “Well I wasn’t really planning on sleeping Dean, angels don’t sleep,” Cas stated.

            Dean knew that and felt stupid for saying it. He felt trapped on this path the conversation was leading him. “Yeah, I know just… Would you maybe want some comfortable lazy clothes while I wash your current ones?”  

            “Lazy clothes? I don’t understand how clothes can be lazy,” Cas asked confused. “Oh, wait I get it, clothes to be lazy in.”

            “Yeah I just washed some sweat pants and a t-shirt that might fit you in my room,” Dean suggested.

            “Okay,” Cas agreed following Dean out of the foyer to his room.

            A laundry basket of unfolded clothes sat on top of his bed. “Sorry I haven’t had a chance to put these away yet.” Dean dug through the basket leaving a mess of clothes on his bed. “Um here,” Dean called glancing at Cas who had taken off his trench coat. He tossed him a soft red t-shirt. “And hang on let me see if I can find those sweat pants,” Dean said putting the clothes back in the basket and going to his dresser. “These are my favorite pair; the best thing about them is that they’re like shorts. Well I guess yeah they are shorts, so they’re sweat shorts,” Dean chuckled out loud turning around holding up the shorts to see Cas pulling the red shirt over his muscled torso. Cas stood in Dean’s kind of lose red shirt and boxers. Dean didn’t expect to see him like that. He didn’t expect Cas to change right in front of him. Dean felt his eyes staring at Cas’ naked legs and boxer bulge.

            “Dean?” Cas broke his concentration.

            “Oh yeah sorry here,” Dean apologized embarrassed, handing Cas the shorts. Cas slid them on looking at them on his waist.

            “They feel lose,” Cas mentioned his fingers pulling at the waist.

            “You have to tie the string,” Dean said.

            “What string?” Cas questioned checking the outside of the back of the pants.

            “Here,” Dean explained grabbing Cas’ sides and pulling him in. Dean pulled out the front of the shorts a little revealing two holes with strings coming out of them. He grabbed the strings and pulled them nice and tight around Cas’ waist. What was Dean doing? He knew Cas could do this himself. Dean tied the strings together and looked up at Cas who had a surprised look on his face. He looked Cas in the eyes for a second while he tucked the string in the shorts. He slowly let his fingers wrap around the front of his waist line making sure all of the string was in, before letting his knuckles trail a short but savored distance on Cas’ stomach’s warm skin. Cas blinked taking a deep breath. Dean did they same trying to think about his next move. He gulped. “Comfy?” He whispered.

            Cas just nodded glancing at Dean’s close lips. Suddenly Dean felt nervous and a wave of terror washed over him. He couldn’t do this, not now at least. He took a step back and sat on his bed not looking at Cas. “These feel much better thanks,” Cas said a bit of disappointment in his tone.

            “Good, good… that’s um, good,” Dean replied still not looking at Cas.

            “You should get some sleep Dean, I’ll go read up on some spell books,” Cas suggested.

            “Yeah good idea,” Dean smiled taking a chance to look at Cas. “Good night Cas.”

            “Good night Dean, don’t let the bed bugs bite,” Cas smirked at his words again.

            _Say it!_ Dean thought. _Do it!_ “Okey dokey then,” Dean smiled and watched Cas leave the room. Dean bit his lip hating himself. He changed into comfy clothes too and jumped in bed and fell asleep.


	5. Cas and Charlie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas meets Charlie and they make a surprise for the boys when they wake up.

** Chapter Five **

            “What’s up bitches?” an unfamiliar voice hit Cas’ ears pulling his concentration away from his spell book. Cas was up in a heartbeat, nearly running at the voice of the intruder in the bunker. A cute red headed girl made her way down the steps. She looked up at Cas alarmed, and then her face softened realizing who he was. “You must be Castiel, the angel dude!” She said excitedly placing her bags on a table and wrapping her arms around Cas.

            Cas felt awkward hugging her back. “You are Charlie?” Cas asked.

            “Duh,” Charlie laughed.

“I thought you weren’t going to be here until around noon? It’s 7am,” Cas said.

“I know but traffic was great! I feel like I already know you, ya know?” Charlie pulled out of the hug.

            “Dean and Sam have told me so much about you,” Cas mentioned. “They really like you.”

            “Well, I really like them,” Charlie chuckled. “What did they say?”

            “Just nice things like you’re pretty and have red hair. They tell me when they go on hunts with you, and that you’re a lesbian. They say you’re very intelligent and brave. And coming from them, it must be true,” Cas explained not really knowing what to say. He had heard so much about Charlie from the boys that he wasn’t sure how much he should say.

            “Aw, you know they told me things about you too,” Charlie smiled. “I also read about you in the Supernatural books.”

            “What did they say?” Cas tried not to seem too curious.

            “Well Sam says that you are very nice and like a brother to him. He says you have your moments but he likes you. And Dean talks about you all the time. A lot more then Sam does actually. He’s always going on about how you are doing the ‘weirdest but in a good way,’ type of things. Like how you’re not really sure what a lot of things are so Dean has to explain it, or how you don’t have the best ‘people skills’ so he likes watching you try and talk to people. He also said your eyes are so blue and that no matter what you’re always wearing a trench coat. I guess you aren’t now,” Charlie laughed. “The boys seem to love you. Also I gather from the book’s subtext you swing for the other team too?”

            “I don’t really have anything to do with heaven anymore and demons are scum,” Cas explained confused by her question.

            “No like you and I are in the same club if you know what I mean?” Charlie nudged him.

            “I don’t… I don’t think I’m in any clubs,” Cas said still not getting it.

            “You’re gay?” Charlie asked.

            “I’m utterly indifferent to sexual orientation.”          

“So you like all genders?”

“Well I love everybody, except Metatron,” Cas pouted.

“That’s great! You’re pansexual!” Charlie held up her hand for a high five.

Cas reluctantly high fived her. “What does that mean?”

“You like all genders, even transsexuals,” Charlie explained.

“Oh yes I like transsexuals, there is no reason not to. They just had a hiccup in their creation process and accidentally got the wrong ‘packaging.’ There is nothing wrong with them, if it were possible I’d help every one of them identify with their true gender,” Cas smiled.

“Wow that is the best thing I have ever heard!” Charlie was pleasantly surprised to hear this as Cas’ point of view. After a second Charlie started back up again. “So where are my boys?”

“They are still asleep,” Cas said feeling weird that they weren’t being referred to as _his_ boys for once.

A smile grew on Charlie’s face as an idea popped in her head. “Good thing I brought these,” Charlie pointed to the groceries on the table next to her duffle bag. “We should make a huge breakfast!”

“Why?” Cas asked not sure why they would.

“Because it’s nice to cook for people who are still asleep. When they wake up it’s like YAY food!” Charlie laughed grabbing a few bags of groceries.

Cas grabbed the rest and followed her into the kitchen. “What will we make?”

“Well, have you ever made anything before?” Charlie questioned pulling cold food out of bags and putting it in the fridge.

“I have made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before, I could make those!” Cas’ eyes lit up just talking about it.

“I mean even though that’s not a breakfast food, go for it! I like the spunk you got kid!” Charlie tossed peanut butter and a loaf of bread at him. “Jelly is in the fridge.” Charlie pulled out a couple of pans out from the cabinet next to the stove. “Unless you want to make eggs or something?”

“I like making PB&J,” Cas had fun saying ‘PB&J.’

“Okay,” Charlie nodded starting on the bacon.

Cas happily spread the jelly onto slices of bread and then did the same with the peanut butter. He carefully placed each slice of lathered up bread together feeling proud of each completed sandwich he made. He listened to Charlie talk and answered any question of hers that she had about him mindlessly making more and more sandwiches. He could see why the boys really liked her so much. The way how she was so passionate about the things she talked about and how knowledgeable she impressed Cas.  

“Whoa, there Cas!” Charlie was astonished at how many sandwiches Cas had made. “I think that’s enough.” Charlie giggled.

Cas noticed that he had made at least twenty peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. “Is this enough?”

“You know I want to say yes, but I’ve seen Dean eat,” Charlie joked.

“So I should make more?” Cas was confused.

“No sorry, trust me you made enough. Um look the eggs, bacon, and microwave waffles are almost ready how about you go wake up the boys?” Charlie suggested. “Or not…” She said as Sam stumbled his barefooted way into the kitchen.

“I love you,” Sam smiled throwing his arms around her giving her a bear hug.  

“Yeah well I give that affect off a lot,” Charlie laughed reciprocating the hug. “I love you too big guy.”

“No I mean really! I haven’t had a home cooked meal like this in a while. All Dean makes is Mac and Chili, which don’t get me wrong is good, but this… This is heaven I mean bacon, eggs, waffles, and… is that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?” Sam asked.

“Yes Cas made the sandwiches,” Charlie gestured at Cas.

“They look so good!” Sam said throwing his arms around Cas. “You two are the best!”

“Thanks Sam,” Cas nodded. “Why don’t you two get started and I’ll go and wake up Dean.”

“You sure? We can wait,” Charlie asked.

“That’s okay, it will only take a minute,” Cas assured her as he made his way out if the kitchen and cross the bunker to Dean’s room. Cas cracked open the door to see Dean strewn across his bed like how a child would throw their toy. Dean was tangled in his blanket face down his pillow. Cas liked the way he looked. Cas cautiously went over to the side of Dean’s bed and lightly touched his shoulder. Suddenly, Dean was sitting up ready to take on anyone with his gun cocked.  He relaxed seeing it was only Cas.

“Hey Cas, what’s up?” Dean asked rubbing his eyes stretching.

“I’m waking you up for a special surprise,” Cas smiled.

Dean’s heart began to race. What kind of special surprise? He patted the spot next to him on his bed offering Cas a seat. “You have a surprise for me huh?” Dean leaned in closer to Cas.

“Yep, we worked hard on this,” Cas explained.

Dean leaned back a bit confused. Okay so not what Dean was expecting. Well Dean wasn’t actually sure what he was expecting. All he knew is that he wasn’t expecting the ‘we.’

“What’s wrong?” Cas asked alarmed that Dean looked upset.

“Nothing Cas,” Dean said grabbing Cas’ shoulder. “I’m good. Just tired give me a sec to wake up.”

“Okay,” Cas relaxed on the bed sitting more comfortably.

Dean rested his head on Cas’ shoulder. “You know when you’re so tired that your eyes get this kind of strained feeling? It’s like yeah you can open them but they feel so much better closed?”

“Um…” Cas tried to think back to when he was human. Yes, Cas remembered that feeling. “Yes I do.”

“It’s like the older you get the more and more that feeling doesn’t go away and it suuuuuuucckkks,” Dean laughed standing up. He looked at Cas. “Is that jelly on your face?”

“What?” Cas asked alarmed.

Dean wiped it off with his thumb. “Yeah that’s jelly.”

“Well I am clue less to how it got there,” Cas tried to play it off cool.

“Okay now what is your surprise?” Dean raised his eyebrow.

“Come with me,” Cas held out his hand. Dean reluctantly grabbed it. “Now close your eyes.”

Dean smirked and shut his eyes letting Cas lead him to the kitchen. “Oh wow that smells good.”

“Open,” Cas said and gesturing at the whole kitchen.

“Oh wow breakfast! This is the best thing like ever! Thanks man,” Dean gave Cas a hug.

“Um hello?” Charlie coughed trying to get Dean’s attention.

“Charl-ayyyyyyee!” Dean smiled hugging her so much he was picking her off the ground. “How are you? I missed you so much!”

“I’m good I missed you too Dean,” Charlie replied excitedly. “I hope you like the breakfast Cas and I made you.”

“Are you kidding me I can’t wait to eat this!” Dean grabbed a plate and stocked up on eggs, bacon, and waffles. “Ah, and a Cassie special.” Dean grinned, placing three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on his plate. He took a seat next to Sam. “Mornin’, Sammy.”

“Morning,” Sam smiled mouth full of food.

Dean took a bite of his PB&J. “Cas like these are the best peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I’ve ever had, and this is coming from a man who grew up on them.”

Cas smiled sitting next to Dean. “Thank you Dean.”

“So I thought it would only be proper for me to crack this baby open with you guys,” Charlie announced dropping a huge leather bound book on the table.

“Is that the…” Sam started.

“The book of the Damned… Oh yeah bitches,” Charlie raised her eyebrows.


	6. Slightly more than tipsy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean go out for a drink while Sam and Charlie stay behind at the bunker.

** Chapter Six **

            “This looks near to impossible to translate, how are we supposed to read this?” Sam asked flipping through the thin pages of the old book.

            “Let me see that thing,” Dean said reaching over pulling the book out of Sam’s hands.

            Sam rolled his eyes but let Dean take the book. Dean started flipping through the pages. They were just odd markings that he’d never seen before. Some pages had drawings of people killing creatures on them, even people killing people. Dean remembered killing all of those people when he was a demon. He remembered every face, every scream, and every name. The awful things he had done to people made him feel sick. He beat people to death, stabbed them, shot them, and even just tortured for fun. He liked torturing demons and monsters though. Now that he was thinking about it he kind of liked doing it to humans too. The way he was able to make the scream and beg for their life, the way they would bargain with things that weren’t even theirs to sell. Some even offered their own child’s life. Having that sort of control over people, having that power felt good. What’s the actual harm in it? Dean liked doing it so it was good enough for him. Just one more time; then several more after that.

            “Dean?!” Sam broke through his thoughts and Dean looked up. All three stared at Dean wide eyed with terror.

            Dean was confused, why was everyone looki- AND HOLY HELL DID HIS ARM BURN!!!!! Dean dropped the book on the table grabbing at the Mark of Cain on his forearm. “Ahhhhh,” Dean cried as the pain slowly died down in his arm. He had no clue what that was about. He looked up heavy breathing, “What the hell was that?!”

            “I-I-I’m not the only one that saw that right?” Charlie asked not answering Dean.

            “Saw what?” Dean panicked looking to his brother who had his Demon knife out. “Whoa, what are you doing with that Sammy?” Dean looked at Cas whose eyes were still wide staring at Dean. “Cas man, what’s going on?”

            “Sam,” Cas said after a minute. “Put the knife down, he’s not.”

            “But his-“ Sam started.

            “I know but look at him, he’s not one!” Cas argued.

            “Okay everybody calm down!” Dean yelled. “What are you gu-“ Dean was interrupted when a wetness hit his face. “Really?!” Dean raised his eyebrows. “You think I’m a demon!?”

            “Your eyes went black,” Charlie said quietly from behind him holding a flask of holy water in her hands.

            “No they couldn’t have,” Dean stared at her quizzically not moving. “Are they still?” Dean only moved his hand to gesture at his eyes.

            “No,” Charlie answered. “They were only like that for a second.”

            Dean turned back to see Sam and Cas. “Guys I’m okay, I’m not a demon. It might just be best if I don’t touch that book,” Dean glanced at the book. He couldn’t take his eyes off of it. It was such a luring book.

            “Dean?” Cas asked and Dean tore his eyes away from the book to look at Cas. “Are you okay?”

            “I’m fine. So look I’m going to head to my room for a little bit and listen to my music,” Dean announced.

            “Sounds like a good idea,” Sam nodded watching Dean slowly leave the room.

            Once Dean was gone Charlie asked, “Okay, I am like freaking out. What just happened?”

            “My guess is that the book was calling to him in a similar way the blade was,” Cas explained. “Once demons started to spawn everywhere, there were rumors going around heaven about a group of books. They were not books of heaven, but we heard about these books that came from hell. One of them was the Book of the Damned. It was rumored to be a demon’s spell book. The most dangerous spells are in it, but then again so is the antidote to any damned curse out there. The only thing is that these books were said to contain pure energy from hell. That mark on Dean’s arm is probably siphoning power from the book because it doesn’t have access to the blade. That book in Dean’s hands is as dangerous as the knife.”

            “Wait, so I just dug up one of the most dangerous books in the world and handed it to the one man who could use it to kill us all?” Charlie looked upset by her actions.

            “Well, technically you handed it to Sam who then let Dean take a look,” Cas corrected.

            “Thanks Cas,” Sam said sarcastically. “How are we supposed to decipher this book with Dean around? I mean the way he looked at it,” Sam scrunched his face up disgusted.

            “If man could have sex with a book,” Charlie thought out loud. “Eh, paper cuts… Nope wouldn’t be fun or pleasurable…”

            “What?” Sam asked feeling weirded out by Charlie’s statement.

            “Oh please he was lusting after that book almost as hard as he lusts over Castiel,” Charlie smirked.

            “As he, what?” Cas questioned not sure he heard Charlie right.

            Charlie looked at the two in front of her and her smile faded. “I take it you haven’t even bothered to touch that subject with either of them?” Charlie clenched her teeth together only staring at Sam.

            “No, I have not,” Sam replied a pained look on his face.

            “Okay… Then forget what I just said,” Charlie laughed nervously glancing at Cas who still had on a curious face.

            “Are you implying that Dean wants to have sex with me?” Cas asked a weird look crossed his face.

            “Um…” Charlie hummed glancing back and forth between the angel and large man. “Well not sex necessarily.”

            “Then what, necessarily?” Cas seemed really intrigued.

            “Oh you know what? How about you go take Dean out to a bar or something while Charlie and I take pictures of the book and hide it in a place Dean can’t find it,” Sam suggested pushing Cas out of the room.

            Cas knew he wasn’t going to ever get a straight answer about this out of those two so he just agreed and started for Dean’s room. What did Charlie mean by ‘lusting?’ From Castiel’s knowledge of the word he knew it was a want usually of a sexual desire, but Dean lusts after bacon cheeseburgers and pie too. So maybe Charlie was using the word differently. Like Cas was a cheeseburger or something.

            Cas shook his head changing his thoughts the second that he reached Dean’s door. Cas knocked and the door creaked open a bit. Dean was on his bed with his head phones on, blasting some oldies but a goodies rock song. Cas walked over and tapped Dean’s arm slightly. After a startle from Dean he pulled off his head phones with a concerned look.

            “Cas what is happening?” Dean sighed.

            “I’m not exactly sure but I know the mark is using the book as a make shift knife, so I’m here to take you to a bar,” Cas said.

            Dean sighed really not wanting to know much more about the book. “You know what? I’m game. Let’s go.” Dean grabbed the keys to the impala off of his desk and headed out to the garage. “Does Sammy and Charlie know we’re going out?” Dean asked once they were in his impala buckling up.

            “They told me to take you out,” Cas shrugged settling into the passengers seat. Cas liked the passenger seat, he could see the road, easily talk to Dean, and it smelled more like Dean up front.

            “Good, then lets hit it,” Dean smiled turning up his old cassette player as he pulled out of the drive way.

            The thing Cas liked the most about driving with Dean was that they didn’t even have to talk enjoy each other’s company. He liked watching Dean smack his hand on the rim of the steering wheel to the beat of his music. He liked it when after singing along to too many songs, which Dean knew all too well, Dean’s voice would crack if he tried to sing too loud. He liked how Dean looked when he saw the open road, how his eyes practically sang free. So Cas didn’t mind the twenty minute ride to a bar in town watching Dean get really into his music.

            When they arrived at the bar Dean cut the engine and looked over at Cas. “Man, I could use a drink.”

            “I think that’s the point,” Cas smirked getting out of the car and following Dean inside. They sat down at a long bar that was nearly empty except for two other people. Cas forgot it was late morning. Only drunks were here Sunday morning. Probably coming home from church judging by their sloppy suits, but the two men seemed to be enjoying themselves. Just thinking about church made Cas want to drink.

            “Hey two whiskies straight,” Dean smiled at the bar waitress. She was young probably doing this job to pay for some of her college expenses. He name tag said, “Jane.”

            “It’s a bit early for you boys to be drinking, looks like you two just woke up,” Jane laughed.

            Cas realized he and Dean were still in their comfy clothes except, Dean was also now wearing a gray hoodie. “Yeah would you believe it or not we came from church,” Dean joked.

            “You not religious men?” Jane asked pouring whisky into two short glasses.

            “I’ve never really been one for religion,” Dean shook his head.

            “I was but it turned out to really suck,” Cas smiled joining in. Dean threw his head back laughing smacking Cas on the back.

            Jane smiled confused and pushed their drinks towards them. “Enjoy boys,” and she walked away.

            “You are too funny Cas,” Dean smiled taking a deep breath through his nose. After calming down from his laughing fit he took a swig of his whisky. “Man I remember when just a few of these would have me done.”

            “They are good,” Cas nodded.

            “I want to get drunk,” Dean sighed. “I can’t remember the last time I was even slightly passed tipsy.”

            “I know how you feel,” Cas smiled.

            “You do?” Dean was surprised.

            “Well, yes. The last time I was truly drunk it was when I got alcohol from that liquor store in the past. I don’t even know how much I drank I just know I drank, and when Sam called for me it took me at least three tries to even land in the right place. Drinking takes the edge off,” Cas explained.

            Dean nodded a smile clawing at the corners of his mouth. “We should just get wasted,” Dean giggled. “We need to forget this stuff. Hey Jane?” Dean called.

            “What can I do for you two?” Jane asked walking over to them.

            “Look I’m gonna level with you, my pal and I are going through just an awful time right now and we we’re just wondering what the strongest drink you can give us is?” Dean questioned.

            “I mean I have some pretty strong vodkas,” Jane suggested.

            “I need a really strong one, I need to not worry for a while,” Dean winked seeing her smile at his flirtatious gestured. “I mean this is a college town, you must have some crazy drinks.”

            Jane raised her eyebrows. “Okay you two go sit in the back booth over there near the window and I’ll bring something special out to you.”

            A smile ripped across Dean’s face, “Thanks.” Dean got up downing his whisky in a single gulp and slammed the cup on the counter. “Come on Cas,” Dean’s eyes were all lit up.

            “Why do we have to go to the back booth?” Cas asked.

            “Because I’m guessing what she’s bringing us ain’t just a cup of tea,” Dean whispered turning away and heading for the back booth. Cas downed his whisky too and followed Dean to the table. He slid into the seat across from Dean’s.

Jane walked up to the table and placed two shot glasses in the top. “This is not technically legal here but a lot of students ask for it. This is called Devils Springs Vodka.” She pulled a small glass bottle out of her apron pocket and placed it between the glasses. “I just thank god that my shift is almost over,” Jane smiled.

“Oh we’re no worry,” Dean chuckled slipping three hundred bills her way.

“This is a lot of…” Jane started.

“Keep the change,” Dean said putting it into her apron pocket.

“Thank you so much,” Jane nodded walking away from the table.

“Let’s do this,” Dean laughed pouring him and Cas a shot.

“Dean she said this was illegal,” Cas mentioned looking nervous.   

“That just means the alcohol content is through the roof,” Dean grinned. “That’s a good thing.” He slid a shot a short distance across the table to Cas.

Cas looked at the shot and shrugged, “Okay.” Cas picked up his glass and clinked it against Dean’s. They both shot back their drinks at the same time.

Dean made an “ahhh!” sound and said, “Me likey.”

“I don’t feel anything,” Cas frowned crookedly.

“You don’t feel anything, yet, my friend,” Dean laughed. “Time for round two.” Dean poured two, then three, then four shots.

Cas was definitely starting to feel something. He watched Dean slurp another one down. “I feel a lot better,” Cas said.

“Aw look at you all liquored up,” Dean giggled leaning back against the seat. “This stuff is great.”

“Yeah,” Cas agreed nodding. “Hey Dean?”

“Wass’ up buddy?”

“Am I like a hamburger to you?”

“No, why would you be a hamburger? Hamburgers are food. You are not food Cas,” Dean laughed.

“Then what does Charlie mean?” Cas sighed upset sliding back against the poorly cushioned seat.

“Did Charlie call you a hamburger? That’s not very nice. Why would she do that? She’s nice, she’s not mean. But like how is calling someone a hamburger mean?” Dean was confused.

“No she said something about how you ‘lust’ after me… Whatever that means,” Cas threw back another shot.

“I mean you ‘lust’ after me first,” Dean said.

“I’m not even completely sure what that is and you’re accusing me of it?” Cas was offended.

“You know? Like you want me,” Dean raised his eyebrows smiling. “Like sexually.”

“Well you want me, like sexually,” Cas defended himself.

“Well duh,” Dean laughed the suddenly realized what he was doing. Dean was too drunk for this. Or he was just drunk enough. “Who wouldn’t want you? You’re totally awesome Cas.”

“I destroyed like everything, I’m not all that awesome,” Cas explained.

“If anything you make me better, so I’d say you’re all that and a slice of pie,” Dean assured Cas. “Look buddy the fact that you’ve stuck around with me this long just proves that you’re great. I mean if I was you, I would have left my ass in hell.”

“I don’t think I could leave you if I tried,” Cas huffed out a breathy chuckle. “You make me better too.”

“Well I guess that means you’re in love with me,” Dean giggled.

Cas become really silent not sure how to react to that. Should he actually admit it? This was one of those human things he was never really able to let go of. Now with his grace fading he felt it even stronger towards Dean.

“Because Cas you know,” Dean felt bad about putting Cas on the spot like that. Dean was drunk enough to man up and do it. Dean got up from his side of the booth and slid in next to Cas. “Um… I really ya know? I love you.”

Cas looked up at Dean’s glassy green eyes. “You’re drunk,” Cas smiled.

“I love you,” Dean grabbed Cas’ hand staring into his eyes.

“My love for you is the most human part of me,” Cas explained.

Dean’s eyes widened and his heart race quickened. “Cas that’s great to hear.”

“It’s great to say,” Cas nodded his head excitedly.

“I’m not sure how to say this but you look like you taste very good,” Dean’s eyebrows scrunched hearing his own words.

“What?” Cas asked confused.

“Your lips look very kissable right now,” Dean restated his flirt glancing at Cas’ lips.

Cas leaned in not sure how else to continue their conversation. Dean leaned in close too letting his hand cup Cas’ jaw. Cas closed his eyes savoring the feel of Dean’s hand on his face. He opened his eyes to meet Dean’s green ones. Cas took a sharp intake of breath that came back out jagged.

Dean was unsure of how else to make this more perfect. They were alone in these booths where the seat wall went up to the ceiling. Dean made his move gently pressing his lips against Cas’. He suddenly felt nervous when Cas didn’t kiss back, and pulled away. “Sorry that was dumb of me to do.” Dean apologized.

“No it wasn’t,” Cas whispered pulling Dean back towards him. Cas half smiled as he pressed his lips against Dean’s.

Dean had never been kissed like this before. The hunger in Cas’ movements, the way how Cas already had his fingers tangled in Dean’s hair. This felt so good. Dean pushed Cas up against the side wall not removing his lips from Cas. “God you taste so good,” Dean murmured against Cas’ lips. Cas tasted like pure alcohol with a hint of whisky. Dean started kissing Cas’ cheek making his way down to Cas’ neck. Cas squirmed under him breathing heavy and holding onto Dean’s hair.

“Dean,” Cas moaned almost too loudly. Dean couldn’t help himself he needed to hear more. He sucked hard on Cas’ neck pulling a loud pleasurable moan from him. The sound was music to Dean’s ears.

“Um excuse me fellas,” A voice interrupted them. Dean noticed Cas’ leg was wrapped around his waist. Dean giggled looking behind him at Jane who looked nervous. “Sorry to bother you but my manager wanted me to tell you guys to keep it down a bit.”

Dean laughed, “You know what Jane? That’s fine we’re getting out of here anyways.”

“We are?” Cas sounded alarmed.

“Yes we are,” Dean wiggled his way out of the booth. “Come on,” Dean held out his hand for Cas, and Cas took it.


	7. A Demon, A Hunter, and An Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley Dean and Cas discuss making a deal.

** Chapter Seven **

            Dean pulled Cas out of the seat nearly pushing him out the door of the bar. Dean never felt more excited. This is all he had really wanted for a long time and this was time to shine. He was going to take Cas somewhere excluded and show him how much he loved him. He and Cas will get in the back seat if the impala and just go at it, and afterwards he will lay there for hours holding Cas and watching him. This is all Dean wanted right now. Dean fumbled in his pockets for his keys. Bingo! He pulled them out and looked up.

            “No! No! Are you kidding me right now?!” Dean yelled stopping dead in his tracks.

            “Ya know, most people treat the king of hell with a ‘hello your highness,’ but no Dean Winchester just screams in his face,” Crowley joked leaning against the black impala. “Do you feel better? I hope you do, because you have hurt my feelings…”

            “What the hell do you want Crowley?” Cas asked stepping in front of Dean.

            “Why is everyone mad at me? What have I done?” Crowley questioned actually feeling a little hurt.

            “Look douche bag we are kind of busy,” Dean glared at Crowley.

            “Stop throwing around harsh words and shut up for a minute,” Crowley rolled his eyes flipping through a little notebook in his hands.

            “What is that?” Cas asked.

            “Meh…” Crowley held up his finger scanning a page. “Ah yes, here we are.” Crowley closed his notebook and put it in his pocket smiling at the boys. “I’ve caught whiff that you boys have the book of the damned in your possession.”

            “If you want to know if I have it why not just call me?” Dean asked annoyed. “I unblocked you.”

            “Nonsense I wanted to say hello also, think of it as a two in one business trip,” Crowley smiled. “Now where is the book?”

            “Why?” Cas growled his deep voice piercing.

            “It’s my book and I want it,” Crowley raised his eye brow.

            “And you think we’re just going to give it to you?” Cas interrogated Crowley.

            “It’s my book angel,” Crowley got snippy squinting his eyes at Cas. “It’s not yours.”

            “Yeah well we take a lot of things that don’t belong to us,” Dean explained trying to keep Cas and Crowley from starting a slap fight.

            “Plus I have an offer for you,” Crowley turned to Dean.

            “We are not making any deals with you,” Cas stepped closer to Crowley.

            “You know, I’m getting real tired of all this. This going on right here,” Crowley pointed at all of Cas. “I help you guys so often that it’s kind of a thing now. Let me do this.”

            “Just because sometimes you help doesn’t mean we trust you. You’re still the dirtiest scum from the bottom of hells pit,” Cas’ face was now scrunched up and his eyes were squinty.

            “Lookie here you winged monkey!” Crowley started nearly yelling.

            “Ladies, ladies please stop fighting,” Dean interrupted putting himself in between them.

            “Oh you’re just upset I’m at the angel’s neck and you’re not,” Crowley rolled his eyes.

            “What?” Dean was surprised at Crowley.

            “Oh please you two come out of that bar smelling of pure alcohol, with hard ons, and sex hair… I’m guessing you’re leaving to get freaky,” Crowley smirked.

            Dean and Cas stood there not sure what to say and Dean noticed he was at half mast. Sort of embarrassed he glanced down at Cas to see if he was still turned on. He saw a small budge but Cas definitely looked to angry to be turned on.

            “Now you have time to frick frack later but now we have things to do,” Crowley explained. “Now if you give me the book I have someone who will be able to translate the spell for getting rid of the mark.”

“Yeah? And who gets to keep the book when the spell is translated?” Cas asked.

“Well it goes to where it belongs of course,” Crowley answered.

“And where is that exactly?” Dean now asking questions.

“Hell’s arsenal,” Crowley smiled thinking about his collection of wicked weapons.

“There is no way that is happening,” Dean laughed.

“How else are you gonna get that thing off your arm, huh?” Crowley raised his voice.

“There is another way to translate the book,” Dean said.

“Okay, keep telling yourself that until the mark swallows you whole,” Crowley shrugged.

There was a silence between the three standing there. One fallen angel, who was now mostly human. One demon that had taken over hell and yet managed to sometimes come out a good guy. And a hunter somewhere between being human and demon, every moment inching closer to the demon side of the teeter totter until one day it’s there and makes the whole side drop at once. These three stood there doing their jobs. The demon, making a deal. The hunter, trying to do what is best for the world. Then there’s the angel, thinking about humanity, and how to save it… even if it is just one person. They all stood outside this bar with a drizzle starting to rain down on them. All they’d have to do is go inside and it would be a bad joke.

“If we give you the book it’s to go in that arsenal once were done, and never come out,” Cas finally said.

“If that’s what you want…” Crowley nodded.

“No Cas we are not giving him the book of the freaking damned,” Dean tried to reason.

“I’m not letting you turn into a demon Dean,” Cas turned to Dean his eyes serious.

With hesitation he turned to ask Crowley, “Who do you know that can translate that book?”

“The witch of some ancient coven. Rowena had her uh, ‘in holding,’ before she left and she left her with me,” Crowley explained.

“How do you know she can do it?” Dean questioned.

“Because according to my mother this is the oldest most powerful witch alive today. Of course not believing my mother I asked around and the rumor is true.” Crowley said.

Dean sighed. “Then let’s do it.”

“Finally!” Crowley groaned snapping his fingers and flashing the boys to the entrance of the bunker.

Dean looked around confused for a second. Suddenly his eyes widened, “Oh no where’s baby?!”

“Relax I’ll have a minion drive it up,” Crowley tried to make Dean feel better. Crowley opened the door to the bunker and walked inside.

A disgusted look sat on Dean’s face as he stood there forgetting to walk.

“Dean are you okay?” Cas asked alarmed by Dean’s unmoving stance.

 “I don’t like the idea of a demon riding inside of baby,” Dean pouted.

Cas smiled hearing the large metal door of the bunker close leaving him and Dean outside alone. “Hey everything is going to be okay. You are going to be back to normal soon and we’ll all be happy.”

“What about your grace? Are they closer to finding it?” Dean asked touching Cas’ cheek.

“Don’t worry they’ll find it,” Cas nodded taking a step closer to Dean.

Dean leaned in pressing his lips against Cas’. Tasting the alcohol on Cas’ lips reminded him of how drunk they were. Having that conversation with Crowley seemed smooth in their heads but it probably wasn’t. The feel of Cas’ soft warm lips made him feel better though. Cas pulled away pressing his forehead against Dean’s.

“I love you Cas,” Dean murmured, letting his heart flutter.

“I really love you too,” Cas smiled holding the sides of Dean’s face. “This is the right thing right?”

“I’m not sure. I hope so. I hope we can go to the beach soon,” Dean smirked. “Just take a break from all this.”

“Me too,” Cas leaned back a little letting Dean look at him in the eyes.

Dean glanced at Cas’ lips remembering their feel. He kissed Cas again liking that he could now do this whenever he wanted. Dean lightly pushed Cas’ mouth open letting his tongue slide in. He knew the kiss had to be short, not that it had to suck. Dean let his tongue explore Cas’ for a while, kissing him hard pulling Cas’ face towards his. He pulled away slowly letting the kiss simmer and smiled.

“Okay lets go do this,” Dean grabbed Cas’ hands and they went inside together.


	8. Hello Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley convinces the boys hes trust worthy... this time.

Chapter Eight

            “Moose you need to settle down,” Dean heard Crowley say as he came down the stairs.

            Sam glanced up at Dean realizing Crowley was with him. “Dean what the hell?! You just can’t bring him here!”

            “Look Sam relax he knows to get the book translated,” Dean explained.

            “Charlie is doing that,” Sam glared.

            “Is that why this place smells good? I knew 3 guys couldn’t be the cause of that lavender sent,” Crowley smiled.

            “No way he is getting anywhere near Charlie!” Sam growled.

            “Yeah okay Mr. Overprotective father,” Crowley rolled his eyes.

            “We don’t need him Dean, we can figure this out on our own,” Sam pleaded with his eyes.

            “I hate to say it Sam, but perhaps letting this cockroach help us could speed up the process, and we need as much time as we can get,” Cas stepped up hating himself for even thinking to let Crowley help.

            “Even if it would speed up the process he’s not helping us,” Sam turned to Crowley, “You’re not helping us.”  

            Crowley wasn’t even paying attention, he had his eyes fixed on the hallway door where Charlie stood hugging a book tight. Crowley smiled. “Hello beautiful,” he smiled with his eyes lit up.

            “Oh well, thank you,” Charlie blushed, “but I’m into boobs not dudes.”

            Crowley laughed. “No, no sweetheart. The book.”

            Charlie looked down at the book, and looked back up confused. “Guys who is this weirdo?”

            “King of hell,” Crowley answered before any of the boys could answer with something rude. “And you must be Charlie, the book keep.”

            “Oh,” Charlie’s face lit up. “I’ve heard so much about you! And I feel kind of weird saying this because like you’re a bad guy and all, but I’m a big fan!” Charlie nearly leaped forward holding out a hand.

Sam took the book out of her hands as she walked by and stood in her way. “He’s dangerous,” Sam warned.

“Sam you need to relax,” Charlie laughed patting his muscled shoulder. “We all are.” Charlie walked around Sam and held out her hand for Crowley.

            With his eyebrow raised Crowley smirked and shook her hand. “I like this one, she looks like she’d actually listen to me and accept my help.”

            “Well I’m not stupid,” Charlie smiled walking over to Dean and hugging him hello. “If you don’t trust him I don’t either.”

            “Thank you Charlie,” Dean said hugging her back.

            “Now Moose you’ve gotta admit I’ve helped out plenty,” Crowley tried to reason.

            “I also have to admit you’ve done some terrible crap to us too,” Sam scowled.

            “Well this time I’m here to help,” Crowley explained. “I have an incentive to be nice.”

            “What is he talking about?” Sam asked turning to his brother and best friend.

            “He wants to keep the book when we’re done with it,” Dean shrugged.

            Cas pulled out of an awkward hello hug from Charlie and added, “I’m not a huge fan of that idea by the way.”

            “Why do you want this book?” Sam asked.

            “I am always repeating myself. I just want it back where it belongs. I’m not using it for anything bad, I’m actually trying to prevent it from doing bad. I just want to lock it up in hell’s arsenal where it can’t do any harm,” Crowley said.

            “And how am I supposed to believe that?” Sam raised his eyebrow.

            “That’s just the thing you have no reason to believe it but it’s true. I’ll just tell you right now why I’m doing this. My mother is a crazed witch who wants power. That book is power, and if it’s in my arsenal she can’t get it,” Crowley explained.

            “Look guys he knows how to translate it, so let him do it Sammy, I’m tired of waiting,” Dean sighed.

            “No De-“ Sam started.

            “He’s doing it Sammy,” Dean stated.

            Sam clenched his jaw and rolled his eyes. He looked over at Crowley, “You’d better be telling the truth.”

            “Cross my heart,” Crowley smiled turning to Dean on his toes, and clapped his hands. “Okay now we only have one small problem.”

            This made Cas mad, “You said you could get it done!”

            “I can bird!” Crowley yelled back. “We just need a spell done.”

            “What kind of spell?” Charlie asked excited about magic.

            “One that can turn a guinea pig to a witch,” Crowley raised his eye brows a transparent box appearing in his hands. “Now I can understand her, because I speak guinea pig but I want you guys to trust me so if I make her human you can understand her too.”

            “It’s so cute!” Charlie smiled looking at the guinea pig in the box.

            “Sam he has a guinea pig,” Cas pointed at the box.

            Sam smirked, remembering Cas’ misunderstanding, “Yeah he does.”

            “So that’s her?” Dean asked giving the small animal a look.

            “Yeah Rowena turned her into one because she’s crazy,” Crowley explained eyeing the fuzzing creature. “Yes we are fixing it.”

            “Why did you say that?” Dean looked weirded out.

            “She wanted to know if we are going to fix her,” Crowley answered.

            “Yeah…. She said that… and you understood it because you speak guinea pig… Right?” Sam remarked sarcastically.

            “I don’t need to explain myself to you, but I’ll have you know I speak all languages,” Crowley sucked his teeth annoyed.

            “You can’t understand the word of god,” Cas said. “Only prophets can.”

            “I speak most languages, happy?” Crowley claimed.

            Dean shrugged and licked his lips. “I wouldn’t say happy, it’s more at peace with how many languages I know you speak. It’s a meh situation.”

            “Why haven’t you changed her back yourself?” Sam questioned changing the subject.

            “Because that dreadful bitch of a mother locked it from demons, someone else has to do it,” Crowley sighed.

            “I’ll do it!” Charlie volunteered.

            “Perfect now let’s set up a witch trap and do some magic,” Crowley smiled.

            “A witch trap?” Dean asked.

            “I can’t be certain that she will remain here if she is not bound to it,” Crowley shrugged.


	9. Olivette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They turn Olivette back into a witch

Chapter Nine

            “Charlie you don’t have to- oh that’s deep…” Dean cringed watching Charlie as she cut her hand open a little too deep, letting her blood drip into the little bowl.

            “Okay now the paper with the spell on it,” Charlie demanded holding out her good hand.

            Crowley placed the paper in her hand, “The words have to be pronounced correctly.”

            “Are you seriously telling me how to read?” Charlie glared at Crowley offended.

            “Just saying…” Crowley mumbled under his breath a tad embarrassed.

            “I know how to read,” Charlie squinted her eyes at Crowley then turned back to the spell. Charlie carefully started reading the words off of the paper out load. A bright white smoke arose from the bowl and slowly started circling the guinea pig as Charlie read. By the end of the spell a human size white smoke cloud engulfed the trap. Charlie finished the last word and suddenly all of the smoke dropped quickly into the ground leaving behind a blonde woman in a long velvet dress with her arms crossed.

            “I don’t like being a guinea pig,” She said with a huff. “Allow me to properly introduce myself… My name is Olivette, I am the high priestess and leader of the grand coven. For changing me back I will help you. But I would like to add something to the deal?”

            “No more deals with evil people,” Sam moaned annoyed.

            “I’m not evil,” Olivette stated her eyes piercing at Sam.  

            “Oh don’t even try to play innocent. I’m not stupid. You’re evil… end of discussion,” Sam growled standing on the edge of the witch trap.

            “Such strong accusations for such a stupid boy,” Olivette smiled turning to Dean. “Now you’re not going to call me evil are you?”

            “Not with what I’ve done lady,” Dean shrugged.

            “I want Rowena dead, promise me you will get it done and I’ll translate every word of that book,” Olivette raised her eyebrows waiting for an answer.

            “Whoa, whoa, whoa? You want them to kill my mother? _My_ mother? How dare you?” Crowley shook his head at Olivette angrily.

            “I know she’s your mother bu-“ Olivette started.

            “You could just ask me to do it,” Crowley cut her off. “I want her dead more than anyone, yet you ask these boys to do it? They won’t do it right! They won’t make her suffer! They won’t make her plead and beg. They won’t make a rug out of her skin and hang her head above their fire place. I’ll kill my mother. I’ll do it right.”

            “Okay looks like Crowley’s got that covered,” Charlie said braking a moment of awkward silence that followed Crowley’s speech.

            “Good then it’s settled,” Olivette smiled content. “Now if you break the seal of this trap I can go read the book and get you cured.”

            “What makes you think we’re gonna let you out of that trap before you’ve even glanced at the book?” Sam questioned.

            “Well do you expect me to read it in this room, in this lighting, in this… setting?” Olivette looked discussed.

            “Yes actually,” Sam went out into the hall and pushed in a heavy metal table and Cas carried in the chair and placed them in the circle. “If it’s too dark we’ll get a lamp… If the setting does not please you well get a throw pillow.”

            Olivette let out an annoyed sigh and plopped down in the chair. “Where’s the book?”

            Crowley’s head whipped around quick to look at Sam eager to see his book. “Where is the book moose?”

            “No book,” Dean caught everyone’s attention. “You get the version I get to look at. The Dean proof version.” Dean dropped a bunch of pictures on the desk in front of Olivette.

            “You expect me to translate like this? With photos of the pages?” Olivette asked offended.

            “You need to stop being so snooty about it and just do it. We’re not giving you the book we know how power full it is. You don’t get to use power like that,” Dean explained.

            “I am the high priestess and leader of the grand coven I will not work in such conditions,” Olivette angrily crossed her arms.

            “Well let us know when you are,” Dean said nodding for everyone to leave for the door. Dean led Cas out and then Charlie.

            Sam pulled Crowley back into the room. “You stay here and watch her.”

            “Why do I have to babysit?” Crowley complained.

            “She’s your friend… Plus you’re stuck…” Sam quick shot a bullet with a devils trap carved into it, into Crowley’s leg, then one into his arm.

            “Screw you Moose!” Crowley hollered gripping his arm.

            “Just call if she starts getting to work,” Sam nodded at Crowley with a smile. Sam left the room shutting the door behind him. He couldn’t believe Dean would be so careless. He couldn’t believe this is what it’s come too. As he entered the foyer he saw his friends and brother staring at him curiously. “What?”

            “What was all that about with Crowley? We heard the gun shots,” Dean admitted.

            “She is his problem so he’s going to stay in there and watch her,” Sam answered annoyed.

            “Fair enough,” Dean shrugged. “I gotta take a piss anyways.” Dean announced as he left the room.

            “Hey what’s that?” Charlie asked looking at Castiel.

            “What’s what?” Cas asked alarmed.

            “Is that a… Cas is that a hickey?” Sam interrogated Cas examining his neck closely.

            “Damn Cas you been getting’ some? That thing is huge!” Charlie laughed surprised.

            “What is a hickey?” Cas was confused.

            Sam and Charlie looked at each other and laughed. “It’s a love bite,” Charlie replied in a seductive voice.

            “It’s something people do when they’re making out,” Sam explained.

            “Or doing it,” Charlie added raising her eyebrows at Cas, a smile curling at the ends of her lips.

            “Is it Hannah?” Sam pried interested in this nice change of events.

            Cas didn’t know what to do. Would Dean want him to say? He shouldn’t do it without Dean. But what will he tell Sam and Charlie? And then suddenly a word popped out of his mouth that answered his question. “Yes.”

            “Really? I thought that was a one sided thing but nice man,” Sam laughed holding up a hand for Cas to high five.

            Cas crookedly smiled and slapped Sam’s hand weakly. “Yep once I learned she was attracted to me I figured why not. I mean she’s nice and pretty… and she smells good.”

            “We talking ten?” Charlie asked.

            “Oh yeah she is one attractive person,” Cas said awkwardly smiling.

            “Nice,” Charlie smiled.

            “Okay who is hungry?” Dean asked walking into the room.

            “Yeah I could eat,” Charlie nodded.

            “I’ll go pick up some food if you want?” Sam suggested heading towards the door with keys in hand.

            “I’ll come with you,” Cas volunteered following Sam out.

            “Come on lets go set the table,” Charlie said pulling Dean with her towards the kitchen.

            As they were placing plates and napkins down it was silent. They both wanted to talk but weren’t sure what to talk about. Should Charlie mention the fucked up situation their in? Should Dean tell Charlie a light story about a hunt? Dean Knew.

            “Read any good books lately?” Dean asked.

            “Actually with all this traveling I’ve been doing I haven’t had a lot of time for reading,” Charlie answered.

            “Oh well maybe we find you some time to read,” Dean smiled.

            “Trust me I’ll have plenty of time for books when this is over,” Charlie assured him.

            “I’m sure,” Dean half smiled hoping that someday this will all be over.

            It was Charlie’s turn. “So…” Charlie started. “Did you catch a glimpse of that hickey on Cas’ neck. My god does it look like he’s been having a good time. He said it was some chick named Hannah, he said she was hot.”

            “Did he really say that?” Dean looked up surprised.

            “Oh yeah, he was shy about it though,” Charlie nodded approvingly. “He’s definitely getting some though.”

            “Yeah I guess so,” Dean breathed a fake chuckle.


	10. Leave me Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean have a talk.

Chapter Ten

            Cas could hear them all the way down the hall and into the foyer. Crowley and Olivette were screaming at each other. Cas had a hard time focusing on his book and he imagined all this noise didn’t help Sam, Dean, and Charlie with sleeping. Although Sam and Charlie’s sleep over in Sam’s room is much further down the hall than Dean’s room. Cas knew he had to make all this yelling stop. He got up and headed down the dim lit hall to where the bickering was coming from.

            “This is in no way my fault!” Crowley cried on the floor his fingers digging in his arm’s open wound.

            “You said they’d trust us!” Olivette lividly announced.

            “Stop it!” Cas broke up the arguing. “It is one o’clock in the morning and people are trying to get some sleep.”

            “She started it,” Crowley moaned in pain.

            “Stop that. When it’s time to let you got we’ll pull them out with tweezers,” Cas sighed annoyed.

            “I’m not an animal,” Crowley said angrily. “Ah! Ha Ha!” Crowley held up the bullet and dropped it on the floor. “One more,” he whispered to himself digging now in his thigh.

            Cas sighed and pulled out the gun Sam gave him right before he went to sleep, and then shot a devil’s trap bullet directly in the middle of Crowley’s back. “Now you’ll have to wait.”

            Olivette threw her head back laughing. “That almost makes my day!”

            “You little bloody arsehole!” Crowley exclaimed grabbing at his back but not able to reach the spot where the bullet was.

            “Now just be quiet and we will check on you in the morning,” Cas grumbled. Cas turned around just as Dean was running in the room gun cocked and alarmed. “Dean?”

            “What the hell is going on?” Dean asked confused.

            “He bloody shot me with another God damned bullet!” Crowley screamed straining to reach his back with no luck.

            “Oh,” Dean nodded in approval uncocking the gun and sliding it in the back of his sleepy pants. “Okay well just keep it down guys…” Dean started tiredly shuffling out of the room.

            Cas followed him out shutting the door to the dungeon. “Hey Dean,” Cas called excited to finally have some alone time with Dean.

            Dean, who was already half way down the hall, stopped and turned around. “What is it Cas?” Dean replied a tad annoyed.

            “Are you feeling okay?” Cas asked concerned about Deans tone.

            “Yeah I’m fine,” Dean said sharply starting back down the hall.

            Cas ran to catch up with him, “You don’t seem okay.” Cas held his hand up to Dean’s forehead, “You’re not over heated…”

            “Cas stop,” Dean moaned pushing Cas’ hand away. “Just leave me alone okay? You are literately the last person I want to talk to.”

            Cas’ heart sunk in his chest a little bit… and then a lot. And before he knew it he was standing alone in the hall way. It was the same exact feeling he got when Dean told him he couldn’t live in the bunker with him and Sam. It felt like someone was stepping down hard on his heart pushing it deep down into his feet. 

            “Hey Cas,” Sam greeted him confused as to why he was just standing there in the hall way.

            Cas turned around to see Sam and Charlie staring at him. “Hi.” Was all Cas said.

            “What’s wrong?” Charlie asked looking at the sad expression on Cas’ face that Cas didn’t even know was there.

            “I um… it’s… it’s nothing,” Cas sighed taking a deep breath.

            “How long have you been standing here?” Sam asked.

            “Only a moment,” Cas mumbled mindlessly looking past Sam and Charlie his eyes not focused on really anything.  

            “Okay well it’s eight thirty in the morning,” Sam told him.

            “We were going to go make some breakfast… do you want to help? You can make those awesome PB&J’s,” Charlie added.

            “Hmmm,” was the noise Cas made. Suddenly Cas snapped back into focus. “Wait what time is it?”

            “Eight thirty?” Charlie answered cautious of Cas’ mood.

            Cas had been standing here seven and a half hours? What the hell happened? Everything just flew by… Those words out of Dean’s mouth left him frozen for hours unable to move. Cas took a deep breath. “I’ll meet you guys in the kitchen later.”

            “Uh, sure thing man,” Sam nodded walking to the kitchen with Charlie next to him.

            Cas turned back around and looked down the long hallway. He found himself eventually moving down it to where Dean’s room is. He stood there examining the wooden doors every line and shape. One more deep breath? Cas breathed in and out quickly. Okay… or a short one. Cas knocked on the door. No one answered. Cas opened the door and peeked in to see Dean belly down on the bed snoring on top of the covers. “Dean?” Cas whispered. “Dean,” Normal voice. “Dean?” This one got Dean opening his eyes.

            Dean lifted his head up looking at Cas. “I told you to leave me alone,” Dean sighed planting his face back in the bed.

            “It’s just we haven’t had much time together you and I, an-“ Cas started.

            “Look Cas,” Dean sat up annoyed cutting Cas off. “We don’t have to spend any time together at all. What happened at the bar was because I was drunk! It happened because you were in front of me! I would have pounced on anyone okay!? Just forget it,” Dean huffed.

            Cas’ heart sunk even deeper which he didn’t think was possible. He thought that maybe now the heart was dragging down his lungs because it became hard to breathe. And to swallow. And move at all. He felt his eyes starting to swell and face start to puff up and suddenly tears were streaming down his face.

            “Oh okay,” Dean fake chuckled at Cas. “Don’t try and pull this on me. Don’t start acting like I broke your heart,” Dean stood up, his face scrunched up trying not to cry. “I know you don’t care. I know who you really love Castiel. And it’s not me…” One tear escaped Dean’s grasp. “I can’t believe I was so stupid to believe you. I actually played your game. This is you lying to me again. And this time it hurt the most… You don’t love me…”

            “But I do love you!” Cas finally cried out after what felt like forever of trying to speak. Suddenly Cas was standing alone in Dean’s room. Dean was gone. Cas glanced at the clock. It had only been an hour this time. Cas found his way out of the room and into the library where Sam and Charlie had their noses deep down in books. “Um, where is Dean?” Cas nervously asked.

            Charlie lifted up her head. “Hey we missed you at breakfast… What happened?” Charlie questioned.

            “I… um… where is Dean?” Cas repeated.

            “He’s in the garage with baby and a tool kit. I wouldn’t bother him though he looked upset,” Sam mentioned.

            “I’ll take my chances,” Cas sighed on his way to the garage.

            They were right there Dean was, on his back under baby. Classic rock played on the radio. Cas had never heard this one before which was odd because he had heard all of Dean’s songs. At least he thought he had. “Really Cas? Do you not speak English?” Dean cut off Cas’ train of thought.

            “Dean I do love you and I don’t know why you don’t think that I do,” Cas stated.

            Dean slid out from under the impala and stood up. “I can’t listen to you say that,” Dean growled slamming his fist on the hood of the car. “Every time you say it, it breaks my heart Cas! Because I know it’s not true!”

            “It is true!” Cas stepped towards Dean but then held himself back.

            “Cas I know that you love Hannah,” Dean said after a minute of silence. “That’s why you told Sam and Charlie it was her who gave you the hicky… You want her not me, and telling people it was her makes you feel like you have her. Just please don’t lie to me.”

            “I don’t love Hannah, Dean,” Cas corrected Dean. “Hannah was all over me, and even once tried to admit her feelings for me. I could have had her Dean, I really could have. But I don’t want her. I’ve never wanted her. I turned her down. I said no because of you. I’d say no to anyone that wasn’t you. I only said it was Hannah because I wasn’t sure what to tell Charlie and Sam. It just slipped out. Dean when I was human and I did those things with April, every touch she left, I wished it was you who left it. When she moaned my name I heard your voice. I had to bite my lip not to scream out your name. Every dream I had was about you. The thought of you weaved in and out of my head every second of every day. It still does. It always has!”

            “Stop it!” Dean yelled glaring at Cas. Dean’s eyes were filled to the brim and were going to over flow. Silence fell between them.

            “Here,” Cas held out a piece of paper from in trench coat pocket. “I wrote this because I’m not invincible. I wrote it after I was God and I did all those terrible things. I was going to kill myself, Dean. I thought that I didn’t deserve to live. The only reason I didn’t go through with it is because I’m not strong enough to hurt you. I wrote this for you so that you would know, it’s always for you Dean.”

            After a minute of holding out the letter for Dean to grab it, and Dean not taking it Cas placed it on the red car that sat next to the impala.


	11. Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean make up.

Chapter Eleven          

            It had been four minutes since Cas had left the garage. Yes, Dean was counting. He heard Charlie and he saw the saw Cas looked and talked to Hannah. Dean didn’t want to be stupid. Dean glanced once again at the note sitting atop the trunk of the red car. He has no reason to read it. However Dean found himself wandering over to it and soon he had it in his hands. The semi-crumpled envelope which had Dean’s name written out so neatly on top of it sat in his glaze. Dean sighed flipping it over and pulling the letter out of its container. He opened it:

            _Dean,_

_I can’t bring myself to do it yet… to kill myself. I want to talk to you about it but you just seem so relieved that I’m back. I have to admit the hardest thing about letting go of your hand in purgatory was knowing I would never see you again. I know that I have betrayed you and lied. But Dean I did it because I love you. I can’t believe how easy it is to write. The moment I pulled you from hell I knew you were my mission. I knew you were my life, the path way to my destiny. I know you don’t trust how I got back from purgatory because you don’t know what it is yet but trust me it won’t matter when I’m gone. I want this world to be safe for you. And if that means killing myself so be it. You have saved me so many more times than I have saved you. So this is me trying to do right. I love you though… I know that. All think about is keeping you safe and making you happy. I’m not familiar with many human emotions but I know this one. Please don’t blame yourself, you are important Dean. You will save the world time and time again. I love you. I don’t want to hurt you._

_~Castiel_

            Dean looked up knowing what an ass he had been. He knew he was being stupid for not believing Cas, and now he didn’t know how to make things one hundred percent better. He just knew he had to see Cas. He left the garage and found Cas in the library with Sam and Charlie.

            “Cas,” Dean said his voice fully of sorrow. “You have been carrying this around for that long?” Dean waved the letter in the air.

            Cas looked at Dean and nodded. “I thought you would want to read it.”

            “Cas, I…” Dean bit his bottom lip his eyes set hard on Cas. Suddenly a smile unfolded on his lips and he grabbed Cas’ face and kissed his pretty plump lips. Nothing else mattered just that Dean had Cas in his arms.

            Cas kissed him back relieved it worked. Relived Dean was his again. Cas pulled away, “I’m sorry I just wasn’t sure who you wanted to know…”

            “I don’t care you knows Cas. As long as you know,” Dean smiled.

            “Um… what?” Sam said loudly attracting the rooms attention.

            “So it’s you bitches?” Charlie nodded approvingly.

            “I love Cas,” Dean smiled smugly looking at Sam.

            “Oh thank god! Finally!” Sam laughed throwing his head back clapping his hands.

            Dean stared at Sam confused. “What?”

            “I’ve been waiting years for this! Good for you big bro!” Sam got up giving him a hug.

            “You knew?” Dean asked.

            “Duh,” Sam chuckled.

            “Everyone saw it,” Charlie added.

            “That’s not possible,” Cas mentioned.

            “I saw it!” Crowley screamed from the dungeon.

            “Great he’s awake,” Sam said sarcastically with a huff.

            “Demons don’t sleep,” Cas threw in confused by Sam’s statement.

            “It’s a saying Cas,” Charlie smiled finding Cas’ confusion adorable.

            “Oh… Should we go see him?” Cas asked turning to Dean.

            “Minus well, we need to know if Olivette is willing to play yet,” Dean shrugged grabbing Cas’ hand and heading towards the door.

            “OOOoooo! How cute are they?” Charlie giggled excitedly walking next to Sam.

            “I’m so happy they are together now, maybe this will help Dean stay calm with the mark,” Sam suggested knowing that it probably wasn’t. Sam was so tired as soon as Charlie fell asleep last night he took out his phone and started to surf the internet just in case this book was a dead end. Yesterday he didn’t want to waste a seconds so when he said he was taking a shower he just let the water run while he sat on the toilet lid and searched for a solution then wet his hair quick before leaving the bathroom. Sam was so desperate. He had searched every inch of the internet ten times and still wasn’t coming up with anything. No time to sleep or bathe. Only time for Dean.

            “Okay so are we doing this?” Dean asked entering the room.

            “I spent last night rummaging through these photos, I recognize a language but without the books power there is no way for me to read it,” Olivette sighed  her eyes focused on the photos and her hand holding up her hand.

            “You don’t need the actual book,” Sam explained. “You need a book that translates the language.”

            “There isn’t one,” Crowley rolled his eyes. “Guys I haven’t moved all night I’m stiff as a board, please take these out.”

            “Quiet!” Cas demanded glaring at Crowley. “Perhaps if you read the language to me I can translate it.”

            “If I don’t know the language you won’t trench coat,” Crowley mumbled.

            Cas leaned down close to Crowley and used a voice that was terrifyingly low and made Crowley nervous. “I am an angel you ass. I don’t understand how that keeps slipping your mind… I am smarter than you and I can crush you. You are a cockroach and I am a so much higher up species. You don’t get to be rude to me.”

            Crowley swallowed and nodded not looking Cas in the eyes. Crowley wanted to fight back but being stuck in one spot left him useless. Like this Crowley was weak and he knew that upsetting Cas was not an option. Cas would kill him.

            “Mag ahe. Para calye hura,” Olivette read aloud to Cas.

            Cas squinted his eyes thinking. “That is the language of the word of god. Only a profit can read it.”

            “I can if I just had the book. I do my spell and the book is clear English to me,” Olivette raised her eyes trying to close a deal.

            “That is not possible,” Cas was offended by her accusation. “The word of god would never be able to be read by a witch.”

            “As long as it’s not on a tablet a witch can crack it with the paper it’s written on,” Olivette argued.

            “Maybe then it’s worth it to give her the book,” Charlie hated saying.

            “She’s not getting that book,” Dean laughed, “No way no how.”

            A cell phone started going off. “It’s me,” Cas said holding up his phone. “Yes what is it,” Cas answered.

            “…”

            “Yes that is great news!”

            “…”

            “Of course, thank you,” Cas said hanging up. “They have located my grace I have to go.”


	12. Sam Tuned it Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean finally do it.

Chapter 12

            Dean’s eyes flickered open. The pain was gone and he could finally see clear. Oh god! What had he done!?

* * *

 

 

            “I’ll be back,” Cas said to Charlie as she followed him around the bunker as he packed things for his journey.

            “You’re getting your mojo back?” Charlie asked excitedly.

            “Yeah, I suppose,” Cas nodded smiling tucking Metatron’s grace in his pocket.

            “This is so great! You’ll be able to fix Dean!” Charlie threw her arms around Cas’ neck. When Cas didn’t hug back awkwardly Charlie pulled back to look at Cas’ face. Cas stood there silently looking at her. “You can fix this when you get your grace back… right?” Charlie was scared of the answer.

            Cas slowly shook his head ashamed. “I can’t do it.”

            Charlie suddenly felt bad. “It’s okay that’s… um… that is why we have Olivette.”

            “Yeah,” Cas sighed pulling a duffle bag over his shoulder. “I’m going to say good bye to Dean.”

            “Okay, I’ll see you when you get back,” Charlie smiled sympathetically and kissed Cas on the cheek.

            “Hey Castiel,” Sam caught Cas’ attention as Cas was heading down the hall.

            “Hello Sam,” Cas greeted Sam.

            “How long do you think you’ll be gone?” Sam asked scratching the back of his head.

            “Hopefully not too long. It all depends on how hard it is to get my grace from where Metatron hid it,” Cas explained.

            “Are you sure I can’t come with you to help?” Sam tried to help.

            “Trust me, as long as you guys are here helping Dean, everything will be fine,” Cas assured Sam.

            “Okay,” Sam raised his eyebrows and pressed his lips together. “Well I’m a phone call away.”

            “Thank you Sam,” Cas responded with a slight upturn of his lips.

            Sam smiled too giving Cas a hug. “Be safe,” Sam told Cas.

            Cas nodded turning back down the hall. Cas could hear the shower running in the bathroom a few doors down the hall from Dean’s room and decided he would wait at Dean’s desk. He plopped down in Dean’s squeaky old spiny chair and waited. Cas wasn’t waiting too long because before he knew it the door to Dean’s room swung open and Dean walked in wearing a blue towel wrapped around his waist. Dean was humming some song as closed the door and he set his toiletries on his dresser.

            Dean turned around and nearly crapped himself when he saw Cas sitting there waiting for him. “Damn it Cas!” Dean screamed catching his breath.

            “What?” Cas asked suddenly confused by Dean’s reaction.

            “You can’t just pop up like that man!” Dean exclaimed.

            “Dean? Did I scare you?” Cas questioned a tad unsure of what Dean was getting at.

            “No! You slapped my ass and called me Judy… Of course you scared me!” Dean mocked taking a seat on the bed.

            “I’m sorry,” Cas apologized feeling upset.

            Dean sighed, and looked up at Cas. “Man it’s okay,” Dean laughed after a minute. “It’s kinda like old times when you would pop in randomly.”

            “You didn’t ever seem to like that…” Cas admitted.

            “Well secretly deep down I did,” Dean smiled at Cas. “What to wear?” Dean thought standing up.

            Suddenly Cas felt weird. Dean was basically naked in front of him. Cas and Dean already told each other how they feel so this should be fine right. Yet Cas had never actually seen Dean naked and had never thought of anyone but Dean in a sexual way. And now he was going to see Dean, all of Dean. Cas’ face reddened and eyes began panicking. Dean still had his towel on.

            “Plaid or plaid?” Dean chuckled pulling out two plaid button up shirts out of his drawer. Dean looked over at Cas to see Cas’ face. “Um… Cas you okay?”

            Cas’ eyes darted to Dean’s and then back to the ground. “I’m fine,” Cas choked out after a minute and kept his eyes on the ground.

            “Cas?” Dean walked over to Cas and became eye level with him. Dean saw Cas’ face and it was like a deer caught in headlights. Almost like what Cas had looked like at the sex bar. Dean half smiled. “Cas are you nervous about seeing me naked?”

            Cas swallowed thickly. Cas was so nervous. “It’s just, I’ve never really… I mean there was April, but I didn’t really… you are… I mean…” Cas shook his head not sure what to say.

            Dean pressed his lips against Cas’ lightly and then allowed himself to slowly trail his lips down Cas’ chin and to his throat. Cas’ breath became jagged. Dean slowly slipped Cas out of his trench coat and then out of his dress jacket. With a seductive smile Dean straddled Cas slowly not braking eye contact. Dean knew he was getting hard and so was Cas. He could feel Cas already. Dean rubbed his crotch against Cas’ watching Cas’ eye’s basically roll back in his head and letting a strong weeping sound from his throat. Dean loved that sound. Dean slowly but with more pressure this time ground up against Cas.

            Cas’ face scrunched in pleasure, each sound from his mouth was basically a weep. Dean kept going making the feeling for Cas become more and more intense. Dean picked up speed grinding his dick harder and faster with Cas’ through towel and pants. Dean slowed down and tried to get stand up but Cas pulled him down by Dean’s hips. They weren’t moving. After a minute Cas moved his hands up Dean’s body and to his face. Cas’ pulled Dean’s forehead to his.

            “Don’t stop,” Cas begged in such a pleading voice.

            “Oh no worries baby, it doesn’t stop here, and it gets so much better,” Dean explained kissing Cas’ lips. Dean unbuttoned Cas shirt and pulled of his tie. He pressed light kisses on Cas’ chest. “Now let me,” Dean told Cas gently pushing himself off of Cas’ lap and to the floor. “I’ve never done this either Cas. Just I have had it done to me. So just bare with me here okay?”

            “With what?” Cas asked nervously eyeing Dean.

            “I’ve so badly wanted to do this to you for such a long time,” Dean explained looking at Cas’ confused blue eyes. “If you don’t like something I do please tell me immediately and I will stop Cas, okay?”

            Cas nodded at Dean still not completely sure of what was about to happen. Dean pulled of Cas’ pants and shoes leaving in Cas’ boxers. Dean kissed Castiel’s toe’s tips and trailed his kisses up Cas’ leg to his inner thigh, over the boxer cloth right to the side of Cas’ hard penis, not actually touching it. Dean did the same with Cas’ other foot and found himself eye to eye with Cas’ bulge. Dean looked up at Cas’ blue eyes and smiled before looking back at his dick. Cas trusted Dean and wanted what Dean was going to do… whatever it was.

            Dean kissed the base around Cas’ cock through Cas boxers and felt Cas’ dick twitch next to his face. Dean then pressed a warm kiss on the shaft of Cas’ penis sending causing Cas to shutter. Dean grabbed the sides of Cas’ boxer’s and began to pulled but stopped himself.

            He looked up at Cas. “Are you okay with this?” Dean asked.

            Cas frantically nodded pulling his boxers off and letting Dean see him. Dean smiled wide eyed at the size of Cas’ dick. It wasn’t huge but it wasn’t something to be ashamed of. Dean fell in love with it. Dean stroked his hand up and down the shaft and ran his fingers over the head. Cas’ eyes fell closed along with his head that fell back. Dean licked the shaft. Just once. The taste was not as he expected. He expected a finger taste. Something salty. It wasn’t that. It also wasn’t what a vagina tasted like. It was indescribable. The taste made Dean want more of it. Dean then pressed his lips to the head of Cas’ cock and then slid his mouth over as much of Cas’ dick as he could. An unholy sound slipped Cas’ lips and sent Dean into a frenzy taking as much of Cas as he could fit in his mouth over and over sucking lightly as he does.

            “Oh fuck Dean!” Cas screeched grabbing a hold of the seat with one hand and Dean’s head with the other. Cas locked his fingers in Dean’s hair, breathing erratically. Dean ran his tongue over the tip of Cas’ penis just pulling the most wonderful sounds out of Cas. Cas kept screaming, “Oh fuck!” and “Dean” and “Yes!” most words a strange gargle slash mumble. Cas felt himself building up and building up needing the friction of Dean’s mouth on his dick. Before Cas knew it he was bucking his hips into Dean’s mouth screaming. Suddenly Cas felt like a lovely release. Something that felt so good it pulsed though his whole body. Leaving him crying out in Enochian.

            Dean pulled away a dumb and surprised smile sitting on his face. He had just made Cas cum. Dean could still taste the cum in his mouth. It tasted so good, like a sweet flower. It was angel cum. Dean stood up and bent over and kissed Cas.

            “Dean that felt so… Just wow… I love you,” Cas stammered pulling Dean into a passionate kiss. Cas stood up and pushed Dean onto the bed and crawled on top of him. Cas left sloppy wet kisses all over Dean’s lips, face, neck, torso, and basically anywhere Cas’ lips could reach.

            “God Cas!” Dean moaned as Cas slipped on to his knees and kissed Dean’s boner over the towel. Cas untucked the towel and revealed Dean’s dick. Cas was hungry to make Dean cum. Dean was so beautiful. Cas pushed his lips over top of the entire length of Dean’s hard on. “Jesus Cas! No one has been able to do that before!” Dean called delightfully surprised with a groan. “I’m so close already!”     

            Cas pumped his mouth over Dean’s penis loving the twitch of pleasure in his mouth. Cas sucked lightly just as Dean did to him but had an idea. What if he hummed a little? Cas took all of Dean in his mouth and made a low voice in the back of this throat and that sent Dean over the edge. A warm tasty liquid hit Cas’ tongue and Cas swallowed it loving the taste. Dean was screaming “Cas” and “fuck” over and over letting his orgasm take over.

            Cas pulled off and looked at Dean. “Did I do that right?”

            “Fuck yeah you did!” Dean laughed pulling Cas on top of him kissing him.

            After a minute they just laid there watching each other’s eyes with huge smiles sitting on their lips. “That was really good,” Cas chuckled.

            “The second you get beck with your grace we are doing that again,” Dean smiled. “Or you can let me come with you on the road and then I can cum with you.”

            Cas kissed Dean but shook his head. “I will be back soon.”

            “Okay Cas,” Dean nodded understanding. “I love you so fucking much!”

            “I love you too,” Cas giggled letting Dean pull him in for a kiss. Suddenly Cas’ phone was going off from his coat on the floor. Cas hesitantly got up and answered it. “Hello?”

            “…”

            “Okay I will be right out…” Cas said into the phone and smiled stupidly at Dean. “My ride is here.”

            “I’ll see you when you get back then,” Dean sighed picking up Cas’ shirt and putting it on Cas. He buttoned Cas up and helped Cas rush to get ready. Cas grabbed everything and ran out the door but not without one more passionate kiss for Dean. Cas was suddenly gone and Dean was standing naked in his room.

            Dean got some underwear from his dresser and pulled them on. “Now… plaid or plaid?” Dean joked again picking up the shirts again. Dean turned around to see Cas had left the one thing Cas never forgets laying on the floor. It was Cas’ trench coat. Dean smiled and put it on. Dean found his way to the dungeon where everyone was.

            “Hey there Dean,” Charlie laughed when she saw Dean.

            “What?” Dean knew why.

            “You two were so loud!” Charlie burst out.

            “We weren’t that loud,” Dean defended himself.

            “My god you to were animals!” Crowley added from his place against the wall.

            Dean glanced over at Sam who had a chair pulled up next to Olivette. “Um… did yo-“

            “Did we find anything? Nope. We spent the whole time drowning out the grossest sounds, which I didn’t hear,” Sam found himself very grossed out not able to make eye contact with Dean.


	13. Dean's Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley, Charlie, and Sam discuss Sam needing sleep.

Chapter Thirteen

            “Okay with what I can figure out from this,” Crowley cleared his throat glancing at the notes Olivette had given him. “This one is the spell we are looking for but the ingredients aren’t clear.”

            “Is that really all you can make out?” Sam asked tired from staying up all night in the dungeon with Crowley.

            “Sorry moose but this language is not easy,” Crowley sighed. “How long has it been?”

            “I don’t know like nine hours…” Sam answered flipping through a notes they had saved form Kevin. “These notes must help us translate more.”

            “Olivette!” Crowley called to the witch laying on the hard floor with a thin blanket and a flat pillow.

            Olivette groaned flipping Crowley off as she flipped over. “I have to sleep.”

            “We need more translation,” Crowley explained.

            “When we get a profit or when I get the book is when we can translate the actual text,” Olivette mumbled.

            “Why can’t we just go get a profit again?” Crowley questioned Sam.

            “Apparently Metatron flipped some switch in heaven that doesn’t allow profits to regenerate,” Sam rubbed his eyes yawning.

            “You need some sleep,” Crowley suggested.

            “I’ll sleep when Dean doesn’t have that mark on his arm,” Sam scowled.

            “Dean is even sleeping it’s not as bad as it was moose. Go rest,” Crowley raised his eyebrows.

            “No,” Sam said sternly.

            Crowley’s jaw tightened but he nodded. “You’re not helpin’ those bags under your eyes…”

 

* * *

 

 

            He liked the screaming. He needed more of it. More of the wet blood that lathered the walls. More of the copper smell the blood gave off. More of this. More of death.

 Dean opened his eyes to find himself in a room full of dead bodies. Red blood covering his hands. Oh god… Why is he holding the first blade? Dean tried to drop it but the blade wouldn’t let go of Dean’s hand. Dean started panicking shaking his hand and pulling at the blade.

“That’s not going to work,” a familiar voice laughed.

Dean looked up terrified to find the face staring back at him. This face had visited him once before. He was this face before. It was himself with black eyes. A deep grin on his face. Dean breathed heavy trying to moved back as far away from himself as possible. He hit a wall. He slid down so he was sitting.

“Hey man what are you doing?” Demon Dean asked taking short but quick steps over to Dean squatting down to just above his eye level. “Are you deaf? Answer me!” Demon Dean demanded punching Dean in the face.

Dean sat up a bit dizzy. “What do you mean?”

“I mean why are you just relaxing playing lick a dick all day while we could be getting some work done?” Demon Dean questioned his black eyes somehow blacker.

“I’m not going to be you ever again…” Dean swallowed some blood.

“You see this boy?” Demon Dean forcefully shoved Dean’s arm with the mark in his face. “This means you don’t have a choice man! You are so god damn blind!” Another swing got Dean’s face.

“I’ll get it off,” Dean heaved. Trying to stand his ground.

Demon Dean stood up walking and laughed circling back to Dean and pulling his face close by his shirt. “It’s not a sticker dumbass! It’s not some temporary tattoo! It doesn’t come off with rubbing alcohol! This is the real deal! Embrace it!”

“You should listen to him,” Another voiced called. Dean glanced over to see Cain leaning up against the wall watching the show with a smile.

“Screw you!” Dean spit blood in his direction.

“Hey!” Demon Dean punched Dean a couple of times then straightened him out. “This man gave you a gift!”

“It’s a curse,” Dean struggled.

“Even so… you should see it as a present, because that’s the only way you’ll be able to except that you’ve got it forever,” Cain explained.

Dean remained quite except for a pain in his throat that made him cough violently.

“Enough playing around,” Demon Dean smiled. “I’m coming out to get some work done.” Demon Dean pressed his mark to Dean’s making Dean’s arm shoot up with pain. Unbearable pain. And glow a bright light that laminated the mark and the veins around it.

“No!” Dean screamed throwing his head back in agony.

Dean was now in his room his head pressed back against this pillow. He was grasping at his arm which hurt like holy hell. He quick held up his arm for him to just in time to catch a glimpse of the light fading from his veins into the mark and the away completely. He put his hand on his forehead feeling that he was drenched in sweat. What the hell was that about?

 

* * *

 

 

“All I’m said was that Dean seems stable. He hasn’t had anything weird happen lately and he seems almost like himself,” Crowley explained to Charlie who had joined the room.

“Just because he seems fine doesn’t mean he is,” Sam growled at him. “He might be going through some dark stuff and just not telling us.”

“Yeah but we could see through that…” Crowley injected that point.

“Maybe,” Charlie shrugged. “Either way Sam we will translate this spell you need to go sleep.”

Sam shook his head at Charlie. “I’m not stopping. And as far as Dean knows I’m fine, got it?”

Charlie sighed but nodded her head and so did Crowley. “This is not a good idea,” Crowley murmured.

“What’s not a good idea?” Dean asked coming into the room.

“Charlie and me watching every episode of Doctor Who in one sitting,” Sam laughed getting up at see his brother.

“The old ones too?” Dean raised his eyebrows.

“Doesn’t matter cause it’s insane and we have work to do,” Sam smiled picking up his papers and leaving the room.

“Charlie, I’m game if he’s not,” Dean said excitedly.

“I don’t know Sam is right we have lots of work to do,” Charlie shrugged.

“Oh come one just the new ones then? Some Eccleston? Some Tennant? Smith? Kick it with Capaldi?” Dean begged wanting a distraction from his dream.

“Well Tennant is my favorite…” Charlie smirked. “Okay a couple of Tennant episodes… And maybe Smith if I’m feelin’ risky. Its pain full to skip Eccleston though…” Charlie sighed. “We are gonna end up watching them all…”

Dean smiled throwing his arm around her shoulder. “Let’s Dooo Weee Dooo it!” He said humming the tune to the theme song. “Yes and I realized that sounded stupid and I don’t care.”


End file.
